Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML
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Top comments
zAstonish 20
I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.
classicsparkles 17
Because it makes sense for an animal to not have bones.
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Comments (87)
Steve95401 49
This explains the "Mystery Meat" used in chicken nuggets.
Enslaved 38
Well, boneless chicken "wings" are really made from their breast?! But still....
feven 32
OP if you say green-bean slowly, it'll sound like gullible.
A7XCamaro 19
It actually does, have you ever actually tried it?
feven 32
You managed to turn my own trick against me. Impressive.
AGB10 19
Boneless chickens vs brainless daughter. Sounds like a Title of a spoof movie
wertyo102 7
Well, in your defense, we have some pretty crazy technology these days. I wouldn't put it past some huge corporation to genetically engineer an /actual/ boneless chicken one of these days in some attempt to save money.
slackerjoe 22
There is no way that certain people, with certain political leanings, would ever let that happen. engineering food to be how we want it? that is too ''cruel''. Saving the world wouldnt be good enough. the food has to be comfortable too.
rocker_chick23 27
Wow, my 6 year old would never fall for something that stupid. He knows that it is scientifically impossible for a boneless chicken to exist.
wanted_2_want 40
Awww! Don't worry OP, daddy's being naughty... Coming Christmas Santa is not bringing anything to him. That'll teach him....
wvcheesehead 13
They have also bred 3 legged chickens to address the drumstick shortage... they can just run so fast they cannot catch them.
rocker_chick23 27
Don't say that, OP is probably dumb enough to believe it.
aedar 16
Sorry to say this but that doesn't mean you're gullible, but stupid...
NodakN8V 25
Well you're going places ...maybe not college but places.