Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
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Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML
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Top comments
zAstonish 20
I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.
classicsparkles 17
Because it makes sense for an animal to not have bones.
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Comments (87)
patrickalamo 48
You need to go work on a farm for a summer
NevermoreRoses 20
Are you telling me that Uncle Boneless from Cow and Chicken isn't a realistic portrayal?! My life is a lie!
nournahas 18
"Today, I was bored so I started a conversation with my daughter about boneless chicken just for fun and I told her that they were raised boneless. She bought every single word of what I said. She's 22. I raised an idiot. FML"
speedyshoe 1
It's your fault for not having common sense.
Ray_of_midnight 23
There was a Gary Larson Far Side cartoon captioned, "Boneless chicken ranch," that had exactly this theme. I have to congratulate your dad for his excellent taste in newspaper comics.
tamiga 5
You dumb bitch
MrZsDad 19
It's cousin Boneless from Cow & Chicken! i wasn't that stoned after all!
Jaevwyn 17
OP, do you have down syndrome?
davincidasecond 24
Seriously? We get it, op is gullible, but no need to be so disrespectful.
TheNotoriousHGC 15
Better to learn/realize that you have a tendency toward gullibility now and with your dad over chicken than otherwise. ?
sousounator 19
You are not gullible, you're an idiot that does not have any common sense.