Kids: Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 500

You deserved it 41 180

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Impossible relationship

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 16:30

Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 203

Epipen time!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 13 262

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 777

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 1 643

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 142

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 416

You deserved it 7 360

By Murphy - 26/08/2018 03:30

Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 062

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 210

You deserved it 8 417

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 2 603

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 287

Next

Top comments

Big_Red_138 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!

Darcon 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

Noob.

Comments

Musickal 16

Monday 4 July 2011 12:18

Definitely impressed by that kid! And I totally understand, OP. I'm in college and I'm just now learning to cook. My parents (mostly my mum) refuse to let me use the kitchen for anything more complex than a grilled cheese because they're convinced I'll leave a mess (SHOCK HORROR) or burn something down. So I cook at my boyfriend's house. :D

BlAzEtHiS 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 0:10

Kids these days, huh? They grow up so fast. Sometimes too fast to learn how to care for themselves apparently.

evhrocks876 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 3:46

If you're a guy then it's OK

The_9th_Doctor 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 18:10

you gotta start sometime

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 25 December 2014 10:43

How do you not know how to make a sandwich or heat up ramen? You can just pour yourself cereal.

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The Top

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 433

You deserved it 5 099

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

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You deserved it 2 533

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 262

You deserved it 30 135

Today, I couldn't sleep because a group of drunken guys decided to stay out all night singing Disney songs. They had loudspeakers too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 146

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 156

You deserved it 807

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 44 475

Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 227

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 924

You deserved it 5 106