Miscellaneous: Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping,... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 561

You deserved it 4 476

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Chubs - 29/03/2009 12:32 - Norway

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 332

You deserved it 11 648

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 07/10/2009 01:11 - Canada

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 6 808

Nice boxers

By Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 860

You deserved it 9 525

You little knob

By keelah - 27/06/2014 21:57 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 686

You deserved it 8 575

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 3 708

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 161

By no boobies - 29/05/2013 16:39 - United States

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 742

You deserved it 4 364

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 602

You deserved it 3 314

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 40 658

By Sammylad - 07/09/2011 22:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 15 354

Next

Top comments

WiseGuy79 14

Thursday 9 September 2010 19:15

So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol

carleigh2424 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 19:02

Hahahhaaaaa!:)

Comments

lamargus 0

Friday 10 September 2010 6:12

haha I'm from the u.s.and I had no idea!:)

pinkkCuteee 0

Friday 10 September 2010 6:26

Lol big fanny!? Attractive

cn5692 0

Friday 10 September 2010 6:47

hahhahaashhahah

dan8705 0

Friday 10 September 2010 6:58

lmfao!!!! that's diamond.

crazyanimeyaoifn 0

Friday 10 September 2010 7:03

I did not know that......

kbsweets 0

Friday 10 September 2010 7:08

haha nice!

Taybabe2525 0

Friday 10 September 2010 7:39

haha lol Funny xD

tmurdock02 3

Friday 10 September 2010 7:40

BAHAHAHAHA. Effing hilarious!

ytezcan818 0

Friday 10 September 2010 8:06

this actually made me lol! haha

chrissaaababy 0

Friday 10 September 2010 8:50

fat americans

ElMundio87 0

Friday 10 September 2010 12:22

duckface

Renee1992 6

Tuesday 14 September 2010 20:41

LMAO!

7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16

Keywords

Work Dentist Health Kids Parents Vacation Poopoo peepee Love Money Scams Mental health Annoying Nepotism Music Capitalism Management Weird Crime Gambling Jewelry Addiction Relationship advice Kittens Animals Cute Cats Friends Miscellaneous Embarrassing Weddings

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 290

You deserved it 14 949

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 217

You deserved it 7 694

The Top

Today, I actually googled whether masturbation could induce weight loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 240

Today, the song “Highway to Hell” played on the radio while I was driving on the highway to work, which accurately predicted how the rest of my day would pan out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 131

Today, I got trapped in the airport lift for half an hour with my family while heading to departure. We ended up missing our flight. 3000 Malaysian bucks were spent on that flight. No one wants to compensate our loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 767

You deserved it 183

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 035

You deserved it 6 497

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 781

You deserved it 72 243

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 13 750