Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
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Comments (308)
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
ah shut up 28 I'm a ninth grader from Georgia ( the state ) and even I knew that we Americans jus got the balls to say what were thinkin
MetalFish 0
Sometimes the most intelligent thing to say, is nothing at all.
MetalFish 0
Don't start a "my country is better than your country" debate ¬_¬ We both have our pros and cons.
UndiscoveredChao 0
definite win for 143
xdanixx 0
Hahaha that's awesome
tdub10 2
I dn't care who u are thts some funny shit. Lmao
RuBbErShRiMp 0
:D yeah she's pretty much the best ever
yafuckyourlife 4
******.... What a great word.
varkey 7
wait a minute, what? Fanny is not used at all in the US, and I thought it meant butt in the UK since it's a british word and I've always heard it used as butt (and in Britain)
airbiscuit 0
Clearly it is used in some parts of the US judging by some of the previous comments. It has never meant butt in the UK. Fanny was a nickname, short for Frances but I don't think anyone would be so cruel as to call their child that nowadays!
B4SK3TB4IL 0
it does
Caz_the_Spaz 6
I actually had to figure that out the hard way... :/ but seriously who uses the word 'fanny' anymore?
taracm 0
lol, that's just lovely.
lamargus 0
166 if that's really you you're reallypretty!!!:)