Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (308)
SweetLikeDirt 0
hahahaha!
jkweenjkwrntjkrw 0
isnt this an fml for your cousin?
bennyboy111 7
wat fanny mean in america?
Wastelander 4
In America the word "fanny" is used to refer to someone's butt--hence why we have "fanny packs" which are strapped around your waist and supported on your butt.
chippa 24
Nobody says fanny, though. What an odd choice of wording. And fanny means ****** in the UK?! HAHAHAHAHA. Excellent.
slayinvisible 0
where the hell is ur cousin from? I never hear ppl say fanny.
gatorgal94 0
Hahaha! An Acual Funny FML? Mostly They're Pretty Stupid.
teacher411 0
Lmao!
hpfan777 0
HAHA
krystalrocks195 0
didn't know that but I know your not supposed to say stuff so loud!
reid_reads 4
This reminds me of when I studied at Oxford for a semester a few years ago. I made friends with some other Americans and we decided to go punting (basically it is maneuvering a boat down the river with a long staff) in the Oxford tradition. We were absolutely terrible and attracted the attention of a boat full of very attractive British guys. My friend awkwardly got wet when trying to move us along, and yelled out "I got my pants all wet!" Pants means underwear in England. Needless to say the boys had quite a laugh.
MetalFish 0
"Pants means underwear in England" Not where I come from it doesnt... It means a peice of clothing for your lower half (Trousers, Bottoms, Jeans or whatever) And the only people who call it a Fanny in England are kids anyway. Most of us normal older Brits call it a Pussy or a ******... I've heard "clunge" too... but that sounds like it's radioactive or something...