Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing... - FML

By gracehi - 10/9/2015 17:45 - United States - San Diego

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

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gracehi Say more :

YES? I was waiting for someone to say that! I'm guessing you and I are in the same boat. But who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both be second classes in a few months.

Proactive

Child labor

Don't you know that you're toxic?

By josh - 23/1/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

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By Madison43097 - 24/9/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

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By irishbubble - 4/6/2013 12:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

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By Thanks dicks - 7/9/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

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By chairlee - 7/11/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2010 12:11 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

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By smyp - 27/8/2015 08:23 - Lithuania

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

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By Oh... - 26/7/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

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By boredtothemax - 17/2/2016 19:17 - United States - Hammond

Today, I gave a talk in my management class about creating effective presentations and holding people's attention. Go figure, pretty much nobody paid any attention. FML

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By Eww - 5/10/2014 17:48 - United States - Salem

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

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By Jimmy - 2/8/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

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By nolife - 5/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

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By angela - 9/4/2020 23:00

Busted!

Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML

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By QueueJumper - 11/2/2014 00:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

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By knowtoomuch - 22/5/2013 00:10 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/4/2019 04:00

Today, I returned from vacation overseas to find I'd lost my job. The manager approved my leave, but forgot to put it in the system, so I was written up repeatedly for not showing up. If I want my job back, I have to wait 90 days and apply to start over. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/7/2016 17:20 - United States

Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2017 13:00

Today, my husband ate several slices of pizza and one whole ghost pepper. He then threw up all over the living room, hallway, and pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom before going directly to bed. I had to clean it up. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/6/2009 14:26 - United States

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

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By but I tried anal and everything - 22/11/2012 16:13 - United States - Des Moines

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

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By Anonymous - 1/2/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/6/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

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By disturbed - 1/6/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/7/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

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By McChunky =( - 9/3/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

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By Anonymous - 10/7/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

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By rob - 23/11/2008 10:59 - France

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

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By pixiebubz - 6/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

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By BS2280 - 9/6/2020 23:00

Relationships sink

Today, my wife told me that she isn't in a place where she can have a physical relationship, that if I want us to have a physical relationship, then we need to start from the bottom up, and work on building a friendship. I'm like, we've been married 15 years, and we're not even friends? FML

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By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

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By yeahno - 31/10/2010 16:10 - United States

Today, I wore my high school letterman jacket while I was out shopping. A man saw me and muttered to his wife about how sad it is some adults can't grow up and continue to wear their high school paraphernalia, constantly trying to relive their senior year. I am a senior. FML

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By Elise - 28/4/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

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By NoSacredSpace - 19/5/2018 05:00

Today, I can finally say there’s no part of my body that hasn’t had a pimple show up. I found a zit on my clit. FML

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By SHRINKY - 23/12/2016 14:31

Today, we were looking forward to spending x-mas eve with our best friends of 13 years before moving across the country where we know no one. That was the plan. The stomach flu virus has a different plan. FML

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By ClearOne - 12/5/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

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By GoldenShower - 25/6/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2017 20:00

Today, I was pumping the tire of my bicycle indoors, and suddenly the inner tube exploded next to my head. One ear is now ringing and the other one feels like it's bleeding. FML

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By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

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By MoneyMike - 12/3/2009 00:30 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

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By parent - 8/3/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

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Top comments

By Tacogamer20 | 14

#6407273 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:06

I feel like it is less about how op studied and more about what she studied. Trashing hours of her life for 3 answers sounds pretty BS from a standpoint that she didn't study hard enough.

By JuliaNicole16 | 11

#6407410 - Friday 11 September 2015 5:08

Lol.. same boat

COMMENTS

By xsaladsandwich | 15

#6407262 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:00

Study better

Reply

Nathan_Henry | 15

#6407282 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:11

Of course u say that

Reply

abn110 | 9

#6407289 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:16

Well he technically didn't say anything wrong

Reply

SnowxSakura | 17

#6407377 - Friday 11 September 2015 4:08

Studying too much can also have a negative effect on you. OP should have taken breaks on some of those weekends.

Reply

twister45 | 17

#6407531 - Friday 11 September 2015 8:06

Maybe you should respond better

Reply

Recon13x | 9

#6407570 - Friday 11 September 2015 8:49

it takes some talent to study so hard and still fuck up, I mean op didn't even mention studying the wrong material so maybe op really doesn't test or study well

Reply

ScratchCatPower | 32

#6407685 - Friday 11 September 2015 12:54

... I have no words for this comment...

By cheshirecat13242 | 32

#6407264 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:01

Sorry, OP! Fid you study the right material..?

Reply

thebadguy85 | 10

#6407760 - Friday 11 September 2015 15:39

Obviously she fidn't.

By Rulerray97 | 25

#6407266 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:02

Hate to say it but maybe you just aren't fit for the job :/

By StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#6407268 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:02

The real test is how you respond to the situation and go from there.

By carlfirebolt | 27

#6407269 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:03

at least you tried hard and didn't just walk in there.

By Tacogamer20 | 14

#6407273 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:06

I feel like it is less about how op studied and more about what she studied. Trashing hours of her life for 3 answers sounds pretty BS from a standpoint that she didn't study hard enough.

By Googolman | 29

#6407274 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:07

What exactly were you studying the entire time?

By foxmatrix15 | 8

#6407279 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:10

You studied hard. To bad it was wrong book

By ChaiseT | 16

#6407284 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:13

Well the incentive now is to study even harder.

By luckypants | 17

#6407291 - Friday 11 September 2015 2:18

I'm curious to know what kind of job you have...