Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
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Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
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Comments (133)
Noob_Trollbot 0
you live in north dakota, what is there to do besides ride bikes and screw ?!?!
charlotte100 2
Ur cat can die if it gets stuck in its throat or stomach. Vets warn ppl about balloons and rubber bands, condoms are similar. U should hide them better, just sayin'.
lemon_aids 0
if its the third box of condoms you've bought and they've found them. don't buy them until you intend to use them. common sense. or maybe your cats just don't want you to have a sex life. either way, ydi.
ltsune 3
I can't imagine that being healthy for the cat? You better hide them better. Both for your own and the cats sake!
mwoodall 1
My dog always does that. :/
EwanSmith 2
as long as some sort of pussy gets the use of them
wagonbacker9 8
Pro tip: get rid of the cats and I'll solve booth problems! Just sayin!
doitup69 0
That's suck shitty balls
jkjorn 18
haha, I've heard of being c*ck-blocked, but you've been pussy-blocked!
BloodyMary666 24
Put them somewhere unreachable for ur cats. Can´t be that complicated.