scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
cdn_steed
United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Anonymous
Rise and shine
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Anonymous
Pittsford, United States
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Anonymous
Cujo, but for cats
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Anonymous
Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
tornkhakis
Bloomington, United States
Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML
meowmeow
Australia
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Top comments
nswan 5
lucky cat...
steelersfan32 0
ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.
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Comments (132)
xxbloodytearsx 0
bad kitty bad hahaha
WallyTheWombat 0
In Soviet Russia, pussy plays with you? It was just trying to cop a feel. It's not the cats fault that it has claws :( Show some love!
fluffycats 0
So did your boobs pop?
steelersfan32 0
ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.
CherryBomb511 3
Fail.
StarzandLaughing 0
that's a lame joke but I laughed . ahaha idk
andyyroxx 20
People still say that?
TheOtherNewest1 6
Pics or it didn't happen.
twinny_sc 13
Kill the cat! They're horrible disgusting creatures.
fluffycats 0
kill you your a horrible disgusting creature.
NightSkyx 0
sounds kinky.
dreaGiallo 0
and that's why I adopted a declawed cat.
lgs25 0
you are obviously smarter than op
vocaloidtiger 12
**** you, declawing is animal cruelty. Like, serious cruelty. What if your mom ripped your fingernails off, permanently, because she didn't want you to scratch things with them even though it's and instinct? Yeah, thought so -.-
alipod 11
good cat and lucky ;)
nathan5 0
i believe he was sharpening your breast with his claws...