Anonymous
United States
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Crystal_Nicole
Wichita, United States
Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
Brody89
Vancouver, United States
Sorry Mr Whiskers
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
Sorry kitty
Sorry little buddy
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
CatLady
Canada
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Anonymous
Tulsa, United States
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
PityKitty
Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML
Anonymous
Obey, human
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Lifes_a_bust
United States
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
He's special
United States
Needy smol bean baby
Today, my cat keeps walking into my room and screaming at me to pay attention to him. When I try to do so, he moves away. Then he yells at me from a distance. I don't wanna play this game. FML
Top comments
louiserosen 4
Well that was a new one
MrSassypants 34
#26 I'm pretty sure the restaurant Red Lobster isn't a fish either.
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Comments (127)
Scarshadow101 6
Wow OP...I can't say I feel your pain, but I'm trying my best to be sympathetic here. Perhaps you should get a new cat that wishes to be around you, or maybe get some tips on how to treat your cat. I'm sure it's not your fault, maybe your cat's not feeling right or in a mood. Either way, I hope you and your feline friend sort out your problems and feel content around one another once again.
metaphoristic 8
I'm just confused as to how the owner knew the cats intentions for playing dead. Maybe it was just.. touching up on it's dead-playing skills?
crazytwinsmom 25
That's just what cats do, deal with you on their terms. They are not like dogs.
amandajlucas2015 2
Obviously u haven't been around cats very much.. U are giving OP advice like his cat is his girlfriend or something.. Well maybe get a new cat that wishes to be around u.. Really lol a cat is a cat.. They are fickle animals that choose to be around u when they want to and only when 'they' want to that is not going to change just because u go trade it in on a newer model.. My advice for OP is to just deal with it and maybe ignore ur car for awhile and it will start to miss ur attention.. That's what I do with mine when it starts being a turd and she comes running back wantin to be rubbed on
amandajlucas2015 2
Cat*
Scarshadow101 6
Actually, I own a cat, thank you very much. Though I guess I can't entirely relate because my kitten is bursting with energy and always wants to be around people. I guess you should just do what Amanda does then, OP.
WritingWrongs 8
-47, Hmm. I like cats for that reason exactly. They don't always assume you want them right in your face... Breathing heavily on you.
_krystallynn_ 11
or maybe instead of replacing the cat, you could stop being an annoying owner. its obvious the cat wanted to be left alone for ahwile.
LetThereBeFMLs 10
"Here kitty kitty kitty, come get your milk!.... Kitty? Kitty? Where are you? Oh MY GOD! KITTY! NOOOOOOOO!" *hugs dead cat* " "Wait a minute you're still breathing! Why aren't you awake then? Come on wake up! WAKE UP! Ugggh screw you, stupid cat...." * leaves room* cat gets up and starts dancing. The end.
saIty 17
Still a better love story than Twilight.
gc327072 31
Still more coherent than half of the FMLs I moderate.
DocBastard 40
It's sad when pets are more clever than their owners. OP, I'm not saying this is the case here! Not at all! I was just saying that...that...no, I can't do it. Your cat is definitely smarter than you.
rooney0710 5
Because a cat knows how to play dead it's now smarter then the owner...
Kallian_fml 21
Hmmm, perhaps this cat needs to be on Worlds Smartest Animals? Then he can challenge OP to an IQ test.
DocBastard 40
Rooney - Yes, because the cat knows how to outsmart its owner to get what it wants (or to avoid what it doesn't want). Outsmart = smarter.
rooney0710 5
Yes. But the owner is smart enough to realize this and can pester the cat non stop. Like give it baths a lot. The human can always out smarten the cat
DocBastard 40
Out smarten? Case and point.
stolencookie 17
All of this "cat smarter than owner" stuff is confusing me... I thought cats WERE the owners? They must have trained you well for you to think otherwise.
AH1Zviper 15
It has certainly been a while when I've seen Docbastard get thumbed down.
Carmstro 13
Yeah pretty sad that maybe OP is trying to be a cat lady and not even her cats like her.
melij99 5
75, Doc can post stupid comments too. Just like everyone else.
cjgirl 15
75 and 102 - It says Doc has 12, not -12 which means he has thumbs up
zingline89 18
Doc, I hate to do this, but I believe the correct phrase is "case in point"
Inheritance 10
Lobster isn't fish I hope you know that.. Some cats like flashlights too so you could also use that.
LennyComa 39
Your cat is awesome, My cat just runs away or scratches when she doesn't want attention. Seriously I want your cat.
kory_jenkins 5
My cat ran out in the street and got hit by a car so I would leave him alone....
ICastillo 25
#17 Im pretty sure He meant Red Lobster the restaurant....
metaphoristic 8
A new what?
doglover100 29
My dog is no fun she doesn't like to play with anyone.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
If that is a pic of your pet, you don't have a dog you have a large rat.
MrSassypants 34
#26 I'm pretty sure the restaurant Red Lobster isn't a fish either.