By Myzyri - 08/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
I agree, your life sucks 66 819
You deserved it 4 034

Myzyri tells us more.

I am the original poster. Several people (not from this website) suggested I sue. For $250, I got a lawyer to write a threatening letter to my previous employer. By the way, I worked in the accounting department for a beer distributor with about 80 locations in the midwest. The lawyer kept it vague since my employment was "at will," but did mention the Civil Rights Act hoping it might scare them a little since Civil Rights violations are bad for business reputations. Basically, I'd heard my old boss telling jokes about blacks, Hispanics, Polish people, etc. With me being Polish (half-Polish, but with a "ski" name), my attorney said it was the only possibility we had so long as we could get other people to say they'd heard him tell these jokes. It would show that he was prejudiced by nationality (national origin). I knew several of my co-workers had heard his jokes before and thought they were distasteful, but I wasn't sure they'd come forward since they were still employed there. We knew it was a long-shot, but for $250, I figured we'd try anyway and maybe they'd settle quickly and easily just to make me go away. I doubted that would happen, but I was thinking it was worth it if I could at least get a little money out of them to help my family make it through if I couldn't get another job for awhile. Anyway, the VP (the owner's son) actually called me to get details on what happened. I basically told him that my boss was always snotty with me and based on his jokes, it might be because I'm a "Pollack." Apparently, when my old boss filled out the paperwork for my termination, he wrote down that he fired me because of excessive tardiness (I have NEVER been late and, in fact, I was ALWAYS 30-45 minutes early even though I was salaried). I explained the situation from my perspective and the VP said he'd get back to me. Three days later, he called me and said that he personally looked into it. The electronic access cards we use to get into the building have a database that records when people come and go. It proved I had been EARLY and hadn't missed a day of work in the last 6 months (that's as far back as the records went). He said he also talked to my co-workers about my "level of character" and my old boss. Based on everything he found out, he fired my old boss for falsifying company documents (my termination papers). In the end, since I met all the qualifications for my boss's job, the VP offered it to me. It comes with a five year contract instead of "at will" employment and even better, it's a 20% pay increase. Finally, to seal the deal, they gave me an $8,000 signing bonus. I've decided not to sue and I start again on Monday! FML Rescinded.

Top comments

you can sue. they cant just fire you for no reason.

Dude, if you're for real... Then that was a win of epic proportions. Congrats on the promotion and showing that douche what happens when you mess with the wrong model employee.


Hahaha that's awesome. I mean, it sucks and all, but it's still awesome.

are you routinely tardy? often shit in the copier? make sexual comments to collegues?

monnanon 13

lol for some reason 16 your comment made me think of one of those infomercials for accident at work compensation lol. Maybe that was your intention. I dunno lol

I'd you answered yes to any of the above questions, then getting fairly terminated is right for you! Now is that something you'd be interested in?

one of the funniest threats I've ever heard was: 'I'm going to shit in your drier.'

RedPillSucks 31

OP would have been fairly terminated if the boss could actually come up with a legitimate reason to fire him, but didn't, according to OP. Sounds like the boss was reaching for one lame excuse after another. Unfortunately, as someone said earlier, a lot of states are "employ at will" states

The only thing you cannot legally be fired for is being a woman, gay, pregnant, or old. And good luck getting a boss to say "I fired you because you're a woman." They're usually smarter than that. You have to prove they fired you because of discrimination. In most states, they don't even have to give you a reason, they can just tell you to leave. You can, however, pee in the coffee pot on the way out if you're sneaky about it.

Ellira87 4

That sucks Im from Australia. Over here they have to give a legit reason, prove that reason or they can get in trouble for unfair dismissal.

The guy in your dp look like justin bieber._.

you can sue. they cant just fire you for no reason.

It depends on where you live. Here in PA, you can in fact be fired for no good reason.

yeah op can sue! why must op quit without the reason behind he/she got fired

Actually, most places they CAN fire you without reason, just like you can quit without a reason. As long as it wasn't based on some form of discrimination or wrongful termination, OPhas no legal grounds for a lawsuit.

Same here in Cali, you can fire anyone for any reason :)) its a great law.

that law is unjustified I say take it to the supreme court

that law is unjustified I say take it to the supreme court

fylhahahaha 0

at least you know you were liked by your superiors.

Zigma_fml 0

Well, at least he felt bad and didn't want to just say "you're fired." Maybe you can get a good reccomendation from him for your future job.

what an ass! you don't want him for your boss anyway!!

Sun_Kissed18 25

Exactly, he couldn't even come up with a legitiment reason

#5 I don't know about Illinois but in NY they can fire you and never have to give a reason. it's just courteous to do so