How lovely

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

Money first

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

Not a good sign

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

Bumped down

Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML

Consider yourself warned

Today, I was warned by a friend that unless I make more effort with my boyfriend, he'll be snapped up by someone else, and proved it by showing me text screenshots of at least three women I know who are all hoping to pounce on him when I eventually fuck it up so badly he dumps me. FML