Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fadingaway 17
Kick him in the nuts and call him nutcracker.
Ariasmake_1 0
at least your boyfriend has a sense of humor
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
beroguecel 0
When I was 8-9 months prego I started lactating too. Wasn't very much, but still
lockerbilr 0
At least he has a sense of humor
burnsie22 5
When's the marriage?
tEeNaGeRs_fml 0
haha wow
carilica 14
That's just cute! :)
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
I think thats cute. Its waaaay better then him calling you a cow.
gingergiggles 4
so? I think its funny and cute. don't be a bitch
K410 18
Next time get married first... YDI
Lily_Rain77 25
same thing happened to me, I got called Moo-moo. He got hit.
sharond23 10
there's no lactation period while pregnant. you lactate after you have the baby