Love: Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 271

You deserved it 3 172

Compromises

Another great day to be alive

Operation time!

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 4 408

Lockdown 4: Covid strikes back

By yuyu - 10/07/2021 08:01 - Japan

Today, here in Japan, it was announced that we are going into ANOTHER state of emergency, for the fourth time, meaning restaurants, movies, theaters, all will be closed. BUT they will still host the Olympics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 94

By BadMurderer - 31/07/2009 04:01 - Mexico

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 918

You deserved it 3 848

By eww. - 22/03/2013 05:28 - Australia

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 258

You deserved it 7 187

By MahSquito - 06/02/2012 02:14 - United States

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 453

You deserved it 6 358

Can't buy me love

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 22:59

Today, my girlfriend saw my secret money stash for emergencies and broke up with me, after calling me a greedy asshole and not telling her before. According to her, we could have taken a lot of trips around the country, because, "your money is mine, too." We dated for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 99

By stuckonrepeat - 08/03/2012 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 356

You deserved it 19 506

By Banana_Lord - 11/09/2015 23:50 - United Kingdom - Arbroath

Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 380

You deserved it 1 829

By joeheathen - 13/11/2009 12:57 - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 405

You deserved it 6 590

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 06:37 - United States

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 954

You deserved it 56 192

By unfortunatelyunlucky - 12/12/2010 07:17 - United States

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 012

You deserved it 2 589

Zoning out

By puppylove - 05/05/2020 08:00

Today, my mother found me staring at my puppy's asshole. She had apparently been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 1 709

By athletiks - 26/03/2014 22:39 - United States - Pullman

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 973

You deserved it 40 566

By rani - 02/02/2013 22:34 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 124

You deserved it 5 535

By Ohshucks! - 20/07/2010 19:01 - United States

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 15 506

By stacyyvonne - 07/10/2011 02:53 - United States

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 3 478

By NotGay - 16/06/2012 05:45 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 082

You deserved it 7 587

Happy families

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 13:58

Spicy

Today, I just found out that my mom is cheating on my dad. I went to give my dad the evidence I'd gathered, and he just said he knew, and that he’s cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 113

Sticky situation

By CodyS - 03/09/2013 05:03 - United States - Rocky River

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 168

You deserved it 11 243

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 883

You deserved it 3 323

Customers from hell

By hexphoenix - 07/04/2015 00:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 2 680

Traumatic

By cuz803 - 07/09/2021 17:01

Today, despite working out and training in combat sports routinely as a lifestyle, I continue to have nightmares of those who bullied me in middle school in the past. These people can no longer torture me in real life, but still can in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 116

By william - 22/01/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 892

You deserved it 32 317

By -___- - 14/09/2013 00:37 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 553

You deserved it 5 615

By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 043

You deserved it 2 365

By hardgraderorhardass - 24/02/2016 04:46 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, my English professor bragged to my entire class about how good my essay was. He kept on saying great things about it for the duration of class. To my surprise, he'd given me a C-. When I asked why, his only response was: "I'm a hard grader." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 722

You deserved it 1 520

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 04:02 - United States - Portland

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 028

You deserved it 3 670

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 18:15 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 857

You deserved it 21 004

By TheyHaveMyAddress - 06/03/2014 05:52 - United States - Jackson

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 563

You deserved it 7 307

Not for me

By Newgenmom - 18/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 1 078

By LinaLinaYeah - 09/12/2011 16:26 - Canada

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 28 416

By coffee girl - 22/07/2011 20:31 - Canada

Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 263

You deserved it 2 427

Dumbass

By whyyyy - 17/06/2020 05:05

Today, my daughter shaved her head in solidarity for a friend who went bald from cancer. Normally this would be an amazing gesture. Unfortunately, her “friend” is a fictional character from a book she’s reading. My daughter had almost 24-inch long hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 413

By HousekeeperNoMore - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 548

You deserved it 4 521

By Ghostie - 02/07/2009 09:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 590

You deserved it 4 825

Awkward

By ellinor - 17/09/2010 20:33 - Sweden

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 37 089

I'm sitting right here

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 06:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got my nails done at a salon where everyone working there was Vietnamese. During my manicure, the manicurists talked about how ugly I was in their native tongue. They couldn't have known that I'd lived in Vietnam and I'm fluent in Vietnamese, but too chickenshit to speak up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 613

Not the sharpest tool

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 02:01

Today, it became apparent that my new boyfriend has the mental process where unless you give him specific instructions, he can’t do anything right. Such as when asking him to let the dog out, it won’t occur to him to let the dog back in until I get home. By then the dog had destroyed the garden out of boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 221

By CB4 - 05/02/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 553

You deserved it 2 426

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 4 723

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Top comments

Kimberly_Isabel 7

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:20

Prove yourself and show her that you're better than your bf's ex!

purplebunnyattac 0

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 13:03

then that means that those two are better off as siblings and not as lovers :D

Comments

Kimberly_Isabel 7

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:20

Prove yourself and show her that you're better than your bf's ex!

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:28

lawl you mad bro?

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:29

now you have a goal insight... be the new daughter she never had...

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:32

so u could be the "daughter she could have" now.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:33

that's sad

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:35

do I really wana be the daughter she never had? that would make you his sister, and then it would be a fml, or a Jerry springer show, grats for wanting to be related,thats just gross

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 14:39

really well drop kick his mom in the face. then she might get brain damage and forget everything?

MonkeyBusiness_fml 3

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 14:53

Threesome?

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 15:05

Agree with batman.. you're complaining about not being part of hypothetical insest. Weirdo.

mylifeblows3232 3

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 17:14

give ur bf a blowjob right in front of her

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 17:49

I agree with Batman as well. So what OP? Just because his mom likes the ex and thinks of her as a daughter, doesn't mean she cares if they are not together anymore.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 19:04

your bfs mom is a complete bitch. she should be accidentaly hit in the head with a frying pan object if you catch my drift. insta amnesia ftw.

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Thursday 20 May 2010 1:34

#7 I want that cupcake!

WorldCupCheer 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 7:41

this is easy just buy her flowers and suck up to her and show her umyour better. you obviously are since the other girl is his ex :) my bfs parents always love me haha it's bot hat hard op

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Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:12

seriously agreed with almost everyone just let her deal with it the ex is gone this doesn't affect u op

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Thursday 23 February 2012 12:15

agreed

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:26

you mean fhl for her son dating you :P jk

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 5:47

I'm in a situation just like this. But fortunately I'm the ex.

redbluegreen 40

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:30

This happened with my mom and her old high school boyfriend, only she was the "daughter his mom never had" and the girl he ended up marrying was someone else. They're actually all close friends now. Just because she likes his ex and sees her as a sort of daughter doesn't mean she can't also like and "adopt" you as well. Who knows, you might even become friends with his ex some day. Without further information, it's not necessarily a huge negative.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:57

Agreed. It doesn't necessarily say anything about her relationship with you. Were your bf and his ex together a long time? Longer than you've been together? It only makes sense that she got close to the girl. Now if your bf and his mum sit around coming up with ways to win her back, you have a problem. Otherwise, let it go. He's with you and that's what matters.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 17:05

friends with exes... hahahahahahahahahahaha

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:37

Then there's a reason she dumped him.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 16:33

top gun wants there hair back bro.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:44

i either modded this or this was already on here a couple of months ago

juicehoneyhugz 0

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:45

ouch! just don't mind her. give her the chance to know you.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:45

ouch.

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 12:47

how embarrassing

purplebunnyattac 0

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 13:03

then that means that those two are better off as siblings and not as lovers :D

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 14:33

a little sad, be a wonderful girlfriend and she'll love you for you. and if she doesn't, well you can't control anybody elses actions, only your own.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 16

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 129

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 2 644