By ScaredShitless - 01/05/2018 00:30 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, 30 seconds after waking up and shuffling into the bathroom, the mother of all spiders lost its fight with gravity and fell into my lap while I was peeing. I went from 0-100 wide awake and screaming at 6am. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 959
You deserved it 293

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Step one: grab hair spray. Step two: grab lighter. Step three: look for a new place to live.

I think I’d be able to fall back asleep fairly quickly after that — I hear crying your eyes out is very exhausting.

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Go back to bed and try again tomorrow.

Don’t let Big Coffee about your wake-up procedure. You’ll put ‘em out of business!

I think I’d be able to fall back asleep fairly quickly after that — I hear crying your eyes out is very exhausting.

Thats some stank pee to make a spider loose his grip

Step one: grab hair spray. Step two: grab lighter. Step three: look for a new place to live.

Step four:??? Step five: Profit

You meant "priceless"?

That sounds so familiar I was just making a web this morning in a bathroom. I was almost done when some sort of mechanism sucked in my web and I fell off. luckily some human was there and I safely landed on them. Then they started screaming! Haven’t you humans seen a spider before?

It can be very startling and a bit terrifying if spiders are one of your fears to have one drop on you! I know because I was in a meeting once and a big hairy spider dropped on my chest. Nobody but me saw the spider - but everyone saw me freak out! OP you have my sympathy.

Sounds like a terrible morning, for you and the spider.

If no one heard you scream, were you actually screaming? If anything, the spider is the one who needs sympathy as he didn't try to hurt you. Probably lost his hearing.

Well you saved a few bucks. Now that you don’t need to stop at Starbucks.