Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
so it isn't a myth. girls really do poop. toilet-clogging poops.
FPsLife 5
Everything's bigger in Texas... except the toilets, eh?
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Comments (111)
daneeyoll 0
haha feces
SupaSwaggin 0
LOL, I needed a good laugh. thanks
Alexxx_Anarchist 0
TBH, shit happens. Everybody poops, seriously; they made a book about it. Besides, if he invited you over for the night, odds are he's gotten some. If he's familiar with your lady parts, there's no reason for him to give two ***** about your bathroom exploits. As long as you're hygienic, you don't deserve it nor is it an FML. Also, buncha virgins on FML tonight.
mckkayua 0
ewwwww
sonosaeterno 2
F HIS life.
kaiser_m 0
1. you should have pooped at home. 2. if you didn't have to go before you left, that's understandable...but you should have stopped somewhere on the way as soon as you realized it. you just don't poop at a guy's house the first time couple of times you stay the night. I don't care how long you've been together!
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
YDI for not making sure everything went down b4 u left the bathroom...
Tattooed_Blonde 0
Oh man that sucks haha But thats okay, girls only poop once a year [according to my boyfriend], so yours is done with.
MrJuggabear 0
bahahahahahaha thats freaking hillarious at lease you didnt stink the whole apartment up for at lease 7 hours like i have and those of you that say girls dont poop thats strait up a lie my girl ***** all the time
anela_fml 0
why not stop some where on your way I would totally first time yea