Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
arcticdoctorwho 0
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
kkmwong 11
Food first, sex second.
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Comments (197)
kkisdivorced 0
With mother-in-laws resistance is futile. They get away with everything!
Ferretface 13
You're off by one.
champjb 0
how do you attempt to have sex with a flax penis?
Darklord53 0
I see nothing wrong with this.
CryMoreFMLs 15
You age says 20, yet your profile says you're 14? Stop making me guess which one you are!!
DamnSmooth 0
You may wanna take a closer look at the relationship you guys have. There is a good chance he pretends to be 'tired' or 'asleep' when around you. (If he suddenly woke up at the sight of food, he probably wasn't in a deep sleep to begin with. FYL indeed.)
caboose003 0
Or he worked all day and was exhausted, we instinctively wake up to the smell of good food. Think of your favorite meal, now imagine you were as tired as you've ever been in your life, don't tell me you wouldn't half hazerdly stumble out of bed towards it!
leadman1989 16
"Haphazardly"
cookie_3008 4
ok. OP's friend. "mah bad".
avi1981 0
Or the sex sucks
DamnSmooth 0
As a friend once noted about me, "You eat to survive, not because you enjoy it.". Anyway, your right. I'm sure he was practically comatose & the simple smell of food woke him up. The idea of him pretending to be asleep in order to avoid putting in the effort of being intimate with someone he is really not that into (but stays with because he is terrified of being single) is absurd. (sigh ... the excuses we come up with to make ourselves believe everything is a-ok. )
DamnSmooth 0
I'm curious ... does incorrect grammar & spelling REALLY bother you so much that you can't help but correct it, or are you just pathetically following those wacky internet fads ? ... If so, there is a new one that involves buying a bag of 'Swedish Fish' & suffocating yourself with it after ingesting it's contents. You should try it.
a_nutritionist 10
you dont think its a bit of a leap to go from "he kept falling asleep, EVEN when i tried to have sex with him this one time" to "he knew you were going to want sex so he pre-emptively kept pretending to fall asleep, because deep down he doesnt want to be with you and isnt sexually attracted to you, thats why i assume he does this all the time"? the guy is tired, sex takes energy, sometimes you just cant be ******. in comparison, eating takes very little energy, and the guy might actually be hungry.
Carriiee_fml 3
I Woulda Slapped Him!
yomommma 6
That's harsh.
dmw25 0
Really? Just stop
WCARlover 35
You suck in bed. Sorry to break it to you
GreatBlueApe 6
No, the problem is she doesn't suck, or if she does, she isn't very good at it.
Justincolon22 15
Are you better?
aaronfuegopop 7
ahahahahhaa I can't blame him. It's not tiring eating food. But it IS tiring to make love :/
FarSide 23
Especially to a fat woman.
bubo_fml 11
My girlfriend farts during sex...Unfortunately, I don't know Morse code...
arcticdoctorwho 0
Haha! Nice combination of FMLs.
xxCxx123 0
I saw that one hahahahaha
FarSide 23
She's probably just queefing because of your little dick.
mikeypairguy 1
Grab his nuts and squeeze really hard! You will have his full attention, especially if you have long nails!!
treeboi 0
Do not whatever you do, listen to this advice.
agoth 0
that's just mean!
a_nutritionist 10
this has to be a woman trolling as a guy...theres no way any male is that oblivious to his own anatomy. yes, squeeze his balls, lets see how long your relationship lasts then. assuming it does, you might want to seek a **** buddy on the side cos he isnt gonna go anywhere near you.
dmw25 0
Your a weirdo. Just quit plz, you dont know how to have sex. Pathetic just stop.
Monstee 2
I cringed.
itzProPain 10
food is clearly more important than love to men