Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
arcticdoctorwho 0
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
kkmwong 11
Food first, sex second.
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Comments (197)
jadee000 0
This FML is pointless...
perdix 31
This is an interesting twist to the "I was having sex and got walked in on" old story. It means you don't smell as good as your friend's food. Hygiene: it's not just the greeting for your friend, Eugene.
Neut 13
can't sleep with a empty stomach
RainbowHeadache 2
If my boyfriend hasn't had his daily Dr. Pepper then sex is a no go. He probably wasn't pretending, no food = no energy for sexy time. If you don't know this about men by now then you're doing something wrong.
Raesin 21
Then your boyfriend needs a better diet so he doesn't have to rely on sugar to keep him up.
RainbowHeadache 2
You don't have to tell me. He eats once or twice a day. Dr Pepper is his coffee in the morning though.
a_nutritionist 10
...your boyfriend is an idiot.
RainbowHeadache 2
I don't see how him not eating when he isn't hungry makes him an idiot.
Justincolon22 15
He needs better motivation
RainbowHeadache 2
Fooorrrr sex or food?
a_nutritionist 10
@127 you dont? then youre an idiot too.
RainbowHeadache 2
That's why everyone is over weight because we eat when we don't need to & when we don't feel hungry. He's ate like this since he was a child. He's a perfectly healthy 6'0, 160 or so pound guy going into the navy. Obviously they think he's up to par. He doesn't rely on Dr. Pepper. I never said he did. He drinks one in the morning when he wakes up much like how people drink a cup of coffee before work. Nothing wrong with it.
a_nutritionist 10
your first incorrect assumption is that hes perfectly healthy. your second is thinking the navy are going to be experts in recognising health. hes uninjured and doesnt show signs of disease, thats good enough for the military. look you can convince yourself hes healthy all you want, the fact is he isnt. deal with it.
jetsticks 0
Maybe u should have given him the "fish" sandwich.
Millman_fml 9
Its far less tiring eating then sleeping. Besides, whn a man smells good food he can't sleep!
dmw25 0
You look like youve never had sex before....
KaskStunter 4
Actually one can get very sleepy if he hasn't eaten for a while. It is like you are out of energy. I'm sure your boyfriend took care of you after he replenished his energy.
Nothingson1864 0
Well at least you can thank him for refusing sex, considering your friend would have seen XD
clancey6 4
Hunger gets what hunger wants
Urn3xtx 0
He probably likes you friend better than you.
Justincolon22 15
Harsh reality of it all