By Iguana - 12/09/2012 02:35 - Canada - Oromocto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 693
You deserved it 28 705

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Top comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

Comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

This girl should perhaps take her boyfriend more literally.

AbstraktThoughts 13

Or she can stop assuming that everything a guy eludes to has to do with sex?

LMFAOwned 9

A lizard is a strange way to describe his dong anyway, but FYL OP.

32: I don't know what you're talking about. My penis is green, scaly, cold, and grows up to 1.5 meters long, doesn't yours?

Sheldon Cooper returns! But seriously OP, who calls their dick a lizard?

redcyph 3

Nice shark pic

Tragichero92 12

Maybe OP confused it with "Hey want to play with my wizard?"

CaptainDoorknob 7

32 - Well people do sometimes say they need to "drain the lizard".

Iniezian 18

Sorry, I know what you're thinking, but it can't be the same person making stuff up. Water displacement girl lives in Maryland, USA, Iguana girl lives in New Brunswick, Canada.

41-Actually, mine has this weird flare at the end, and every girl dropped dead after 5 days of agonizing pain.

VaultDweller106 7

You're a lizard Harry!

DCvRkey2012 7

I'm a what? :)

Also sounds like the guy who got aroused from a chipmunk running around in his pants.

CaptainDoorknob 7

111 - Wasn't it a gerbil?

Wow?!? You don't like Igunas?

Probably not inside of her.

XTheDesertSongX 17

17...What? What?

What the fuck is an Iguna?

He means iguanas.

Well what were you expecting?;)

Hopefully his actual penis has less bumps...

Oh I don't know about that... A girl could have a lot of fun with a bumpy penis...

FMLshark 12

Genital warts don't sound all that fun, 23.

I meant a ribbed condom. Lol

tne201992 12

Ripped condom? How is that even funny?

#23 you have a bumpy penis?

"Ribbed."

"ribbed for her pleasure eeewwwww" lol

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

If only all women were excited about that!

youjustmademelol 4

i think calling manly parts a lizard sounds a little gross and wouldnt at all be a turn on.. thats my veiw as a girl

That's a new one. How many euphemisms are out there?

KiddNYC1O 20

Lost count.

andriy_fml 0

Tell him you want him to come over and play with your cat... That'll teach him lol

What if she doesn't have a cat, though? (And borrowing one would just be silly)

Everbody! I give you Buuuzzzz Killington!!

*canned applause*

Wasn't being a 'buzzkill', just a realist. Big difference. :)

This is not a fml....

And yet it's on the FML website.

Iguanas are cool.

for some reason, I read your comment in Butthead's voice. It made it so much better. ;)

All lizards are amazing. If I had a boyfriend, and he had an Iguana, I'd probably spend more time with the Iguana...

Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend.. Also why don't you just buy one yourself..?