By Iguana - 12/09/2012 02:35 - Canada - Oromocto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 714
You deserved it 28 775
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Top comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

491 4
rncannon 18

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

214 5

Comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

491 4
TurtleSmile 14

This girl should perhaps take her boyfriend more literally.

77 2
AbstraktThoughts 13

Or she can stop assuming that everything a guy eludes to has to do with sex?

108 5
LMFAOwned 9

A lizard is a strange way to describe his dong anyway, but FYL OP.

44 2
doctorhook86 24

32: I don't know what you're talking about. My penis is green, scaly, cold, and grows up to 1.5 meters long, doesn't yours?

77 2
innavoiG 9

Sheldon Cooper returns! But seriously OP, who calls their dick a lizard?

20 1
Tragichero92 12

Maybe OP confused it with "Hey want to play with my wizard?"

8 3
CaptainDoorknob 7

32 - Well people do sometimes say they need to "drain the lizard".

17 0
Iniezian 18

Sorry, I know what you're thinking, but it can't be the same person making stuff up. Water displacement girl lives in Maryland, USA, Iguana girl lives in New Brunswick, Canada.

4 20
njgohard 16

41-Actually, mine has this weird flare at the end, and every girl dropped dead after 5 days of agonizing pain.

12 3
VaultDweller106 7

You're a lizard Harry!

19 2
PinkieKeen 20

Also sounds like the guy who got aroused from a chipmunk running around in his pants.

4 2
CaptainDoorknob 7

111 - Wasn't it a gerbil?

3 1
hotshot2626 9

Hopefully his actual penis has less bumps...

45 3
zandalee 19

Oh I don't know about that... A girl could have a lot of fun with a bumpy penis...

4 42
FMLshark 12

Genital warts don't sound all that fun, 23.

67 2
tne201992 12

Ripped condom? How is that even funny?

2 52
gabbyed 2

"ribbed for her pleasure eeewwwww" lol

0 8
rncannon 18

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

214 5
Teyros 24

If only all women were excited about that!

115 6
youjustmademelol 4

i think calling manly parts a lizard sounds a little gross and wouldnt at all be a turn on.. thats my veiw as a girl

0 11
annie_nk 22

That's a new one. How many euphemisms are out there?

66 3
andriy_fml 0

Tell him you want him to come over and play with your cat... That'll teach him lol

120 4
JAB2010 1

What if she doesn't have a cat, though? (And borrowing one would just be silly)

2 48
JAB2010 1

Wasn't being a 'buzzkill', just a realist. Big difference. :)

2 15
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

for some reason, I read your comment in Butthead's voice. It made it so much better. ;)

9 2
KogMaw 6

All lizards are amazing. If I had a boyfriend, and he had an Iguana, I'd probably spend more time with the Iguana...

41 10
your_ma 27

Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend.. Also why don't you just buy one yourself..?

24 4