By Iguana - 12/09/2012 02:35 - Canada - Oromocto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 693
You deserved it 28 705
Intimacy
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FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

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rncannon 18
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I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

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Comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

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TurtleSmile 14
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This girl should perhaps take her boyfriend more literally.

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AbstraktThoughts 13

Or she can stop assuming that everything a guy eludes to has to do with sex?

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LMFAOwned 9

A lizard is a strange way to describe his dong anyway, but FYL OP.

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doctorhook86 24
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32: I don't know what you're talking about. My penis is green, scaly, cold, and grows up to 1.5 meters long, doesn't yours?

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innavoiG 9
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Sheldon Cooper returns! But seriously OP, who calls their dick a lizard?

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redcyph 3

Nice shark pic

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Tragichero92 12

Maybe OP confused it with "Hey want to play with my wizard?"

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CaptainDoorknob 7

32 - Well people do sometimes say they need to "drain the lizard".

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Iniezian 18

Sorry, I know what you're thinking, but it can't be the same person making stuff up. Water displacement girl lives in Maryland, USA, Iguana girl lives in New Brunswick, Canada.

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njgohard 16
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41-Actually, mine has this weird flare at the end, and every girl dropped dead after 5 days of agonizing pain.

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VaultDweller106 7

You're a lizard Harry!

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DCvRkey2012 7

I'm a what? :)

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PinkieKeen 20
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Also sounds like the guy who got aroused from a chipmunk running around in his pants.

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CaptainDoorknob 7

111 - Wasn't it a gerbil?

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CastielJ 6
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Wow?!? You don't like Igunas?

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Feared 9
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Probably not inside of her.

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XTheDesertSongX 17

17...What? What?

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Farfalo 3
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What the fuck is an Iguna?

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Randomoscity 0
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He means iguanas.

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thisgirlysfml 2
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Well what were you expecting?;)

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hotshot2626 9
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Hopefully his actual penis has less bumps...

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zandalee 19
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Oh I don't know about that... A girl could have a lot of fun with a bumpy penis...

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FMLshark 12

Genital warts don't sound all that fun, 23.

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zandalee 19
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I meant a ribbed condom. Lol

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tne201992 12

Ripped condom? How is that even funny?

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FlyingFucker 6
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#23 you have a bumpy penis?

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Szaszaspasz 26
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"Ribbed."

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gabbyed 2
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"ribbed for her pleasure eeewwwww" lol

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rncannon 18
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I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

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Teyros 24
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If only all women were excited about that!

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youjustmademelol 4

i think calling manly parts a lizard sounds a little gross and wouldnt at all be a turn on.. thats my veiw as a girl

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annie_nk 22
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That's a new one. How many euphemisms are out there?

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KiddNYC1O 20

Lost count.

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andriy_fml 0

Tell him you want him to come over and play with your cat... That'll teach him lol

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JAB2010 1
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What if she doesn't have a cat, though? (And borrowing one would just be silly)

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domking1315 20
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Everbody! I give you Buuuzzzz Killington!!

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gc327072 30
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*canned applause*

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JAB2010 1
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Wasn't being a 'buzzkill', just a realist. Big difference. :)

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loloalltheway 23
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This is not a fml....

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Doortje 29
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And yet it's on the FML website.

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Mekeritrig 15
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Iguanas are cool.

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hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
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for some reason, I read your comment in Butthead's voice. It made it so much better. ;)

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KogMaw 6
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All lizards are amazing. If I had a boyfriend, and he had an Iguana, I'd probably spend more time with the Iguana...

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your_ma 27
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Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend.. Also why don't you just buy one yourself..?

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