By Iguana - 12/09/2012 02:35 - Canada - Oromocto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 711
You deserved it 28 769

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

Comments

FMLshark 12

Sounds like the same boyfriend who wanted to test water displacement in the bathtub with his girlfriend.

This girl should perhaps take her boyfriend more literally.

AbstraktThoughts 13

Or she can stop assuming that everything a guy eludes to has to do with sex?

LMFAOwned 9

A lizard is a strange way to describe his dong anyway, but FYL OP.

32: I don't know what you're talking about. My penis is green, scaly, cold, and grows up to 1.5 meters long, doesn't yours?

Sheldon Cooper returns! But seriously OP, who calls their dick a lizard?

Tragichero92 12

Maybe OP confused it with "Hey want to play with my wizard?"

CaptainDoorknob 7

32 - Well people do sometimes say they need to "drain the lizard".

Iniezian 18

Sorry, I know what you're thinking, but it can't be the same person making stuff up. Water displacement girl lives in Maryland, USA, Iguana girl lives in New Brunswick, Canada.

41-Actually, mine has this weird flare at the end, and every girl dropped dead after 5 days of agonizing pain.

VaultDweller106 7

Also sounds like the guy who got aroused from a chipmunk running around in his pants.

CaptainDoorknob 7

I would have been pretty excited anyway. Iguanas are cool.

If only all women were excited about that!

youjustmademelol 4

i think calling manly parts a lizard sounds a little gross and wouldnt at all be a turn on.. thats my veiw as a girl

That's a new one. How many euphemisms are out there?

andriy_fml 0

Tell him you want him to come over and play with your cat... That'll teach him lol

What if she doesn't have a cat, though? (And borrowing one would just be silly)

Wasn't being a 'buzzkill', just a realist. Big difference. :)

for some reason, I read your comment in Butthead's voice. It made it so much better. ;)

All lizards are amazing. If I had a boyfriend, and he had an Iguana, I'd probably spend more time with the Iguana...

Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend.. Also why don't you just buy one yourself..?