Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Keevarou 17
Understandable that he would be happy, not everyone knows how to make a girl come. But maybe you should talk to him about what you like in bed or not, communication is the key after all. But you should be honest, that was all, have a nice day.
jDCrackpot 7
I think you kinda deserve it- You need to teach him how to get you off, and the 'finally' makes me think you haven't. A clit isn't a doorbell, you can't just press and hope someone comes!
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Comments (109)
ObsessedWithMe 13
Let him have his moment. Hopefully you'll eventually have yours.
GothicAngel17 24
That is the worst thing she can do. She is lying for one, and secondly he's going to keep doing the same thing in the hopes of making her ******, and she probably won't even say anything.
DocBastard 40
OP: Ah...ah...AH... Boyfriend: Oh yeah, you like that? OP: Ah! AH! AAAAH! Boyfriend: Yeah! Come on! That's it! OP: Choo. Boyfriend: Damn.
sketcherdown 5
Now that's funny as shit!
ladyLALAA 29
I don't find shit funny myself...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Cue the sad trumpet sound! *wah wah waaaaaah*
Theactuary 0
HAHAHAHA.. Wait, thats not funny and your a bitch.
theangelfromhell 6
I actually lol'ed :D
perdix 31
Keep some pepper by the bed and you'll have "orgasms" on demand.
memob123 0
Yea I like orgasms On Demand! Oh wait... Wrong on demand :(
soldiat_fml 17
Even better...feathers. They have more than one use. Unless, of course, with the hot pepper you like that sort of thing...
Enslaved 38
Awww... he wants to make sure you came! A lot of guys really don't care as long as they're the ones getting their rocks off. The female ****** can be very complex! It all starts with the mind vs the touch and strokes only. Learn to control those sexy thoughts and you'll be responsible for your own orgasms. Feel free to use his body as a prop until he knows what you like!(: Whatever you do, don't fake it!
perdix 31
I still think the pepper is easier :)
ChickInGreenVans 12
*Yawn!! O thats exactly what I do when I'm really interested 0_o!!
likeAwesome 3
You must sneeze very interestingly...
crazyskillz122 0
U have kind of funny sneeze
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Well, a sneeze is equivalent to a fraction of an ******, so he got somewhere.
groupleader 7
You blew it
laylay426 0
Sownds like somthing I'd do haha(:
loosemoosejuice 2
Tisk tisk tisk