Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Yes, keep the puns coming, folks. At this rate, we might be able to influence the Google search results of people looking for ****. Just think of how confused and disappointed they'll be.
Calingaladha 21
He's just feline sorry for himself...
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Comments (49)
Dilexar 26
this reminds me of a previous fml with the same theme. is your boyfriend pregnant by chance?
OnlySkyrimStays 11
You've cat to be kitten me right meow, what a total pussy!
aesthetic umbrella 18
I once told my friend I wasn't sure who was cuter, him or his dog. He got legit offended. It's okay. It happens sometimes. D: But honestly, don't take it too personally. We're all a little irrational sometimes.
Lalala579121 28
The dog. It's obviously the dog.
aesthetic umbrella 18
Lmao
kurodansei 16
Since you asked....*ahem* One pussy deserves another.
greenfishbait 19
Maybe you should get rid of him. Your boyfriend, not the cat.
XCanadianBloodX 6
But then both would be gone because it's his cat...
Lalala579121 28
Then the bf will write an FML about how his cat sat on his gf's lap one day and the next she was gone and took the cat with her.
Knittedbirch 8
Rejection hurts.
duhitisme 9
He should say what Johnny Carson said to Rachel Welch R: would you like to pet my pussy. j: sure you gotta move the damn cat first
KnockoutBlox 13
Maybe it's time to ditch your boyfriend when even his cat chooses you over him
MissCamo23 3
One does not simply get over the fact that your cat went to someone else.
killeanrea 5
Well your first and only problem is that dating a guy who has a cat.... Enough said