Today, I told my boss to choose between A and B, with A achieving his longterm goal, and B producing a quick win, but not leading to anywhere near A. He told me to come with a "hybrid" approach." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML
Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution to our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything single-handedly, since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML
Today, my boss accused me of eyeing for a promotion when I suggested a solution to save our team time by staying on a 2-hour schedule in the mornings. He told me we average 3 hours for our production, but his goal for this area is 90 minutes. FML
Today, my boss decided to start a sport challenge where we should set a training goal and report about achieving it. Okay, I go to the gym a few days a week, but I'm really not interested in this collective motivation crap. Later, our boss hinted that if I don't take part, I may get fired for breaking the team spirit. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, I told my husband I wanted to make him happy by giving him a baby. He told me either I can make him happy, or I can give him a baby, but I can’t do both. FML
Today, fifteen minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML
Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
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Top comments
adjwejaelwkdc 21
I can always tell when my boss is overwhelmed. He starts answering his emails without reading them fully first. So I'll ask "Do you want me to do A, or do you want me to do B?" and he responds simply, "Yes." I've learned to ask only direct questions to which "Yes" and "No" are appropriate answers.
Bogrbon 27
That’s boss speak for “Do B, and put in extra hours to get A done too.” Quick win and the long term improvement.
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Comments (4)
BMXDude22 12
I had a boss like that. It was infuriating.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
I can always tell when my boss is overwhelmed. He starts answering his emails without reading them fully first. So I'll ask "Do you want me to do A, or do you want me to do B?" and he responds simply, "Yes." I've learned to ask only direct questions to which "Yes" and "No" are appropriate answers.
raven_of_azarath 35
My students do this too. It’s hard to get them thinking about literature when they think everything is a yes or no question.
Bogrbon 27
That’s boss speak for “Do B, and put in extra hours to get A done too.” Quick win and the long term improvement.
RichardPencil 32
Plan C: Take this job and shove it.