Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
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Top comments
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Roguedork19 8
No, this is Patrick. O.o
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Comments (201)
htownpostman 16
I'd def be cutting him off! How disrespectful...
YoungMisfit 9
Or reward him for his brilliance
rogerdodgeroz 4
Lol , manpower !!!!! Good work
subwaysurfers 13
Yeah, use the man power on a woman. That's not abuse.
DaDivineDevil 11
Since he's talking about movies, maybe you should make him watch 'Teeth'
beehardxcore 26
suuuuuch an awkwardly funny movie.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
No one ever said ANYTHING about injury.
CrissyyyS2 22
Sorry but... I laughed at this :
FredF 4
You're not sorry.
DrFuzzyPickles 9
It's okay, neither am I!
billyz77 24
Doesn't anyone just make love anymore?
IOmnomHard 10
Women make love,men ****. :)
yoursucklives 36
32 nope
Roguedork19 8
Perhaps this is something new along the lines of foreplay, only...postplay...nevermind
mbuck87 19
You don't do either, do you?
billyz77 24
Read my bio and you'll see that it doesn't matter to me what you think, 65.
IOmnomHard 10
87 I believe he was talking to me, and I made a poor comment choice because it was like four am and I was trying to remember an old joke... 65- More than you, good sir. More than you. ;)
IOmnomHard 10
Oh wait I remember. ”What is the definition of "making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is ******* her.” Sorry guys I was very tired. :)
IOmnomHard 10
Oh wait I remember. ”What is the definition of "making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is ******* her.” Sorry guys I was very tired. :)
Callyn 47
That's an old reference. Show him Sucker Punch so he can see how bad Zack Snyder is.
Ukeee_X 19
Flip the scenario, you do realise in those times most the men were in homosexual relationships? Ill let you think about that.
BiaBauer 29
Omg, how can you stay with that jerk?
ohmandapants 17
Omg how could you have such a bad sense of humor? This is something that anyone with a sense of humor would laugh about after the initial shock. It's like when you fall in public. "OMG I fell how embarrassing!" And then you laugh about it later. This is really not a reason to break up with someone. That's freaking ridiculous.
GTAmerc 2
Please pardon me for saying that I found the visual quite hilarious.