Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Roguedork19 8
No, this is Patrick. O.o
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
iamsickbro32 2
Your boyfriend is definitely the coolest guy ever!
Eorlas 31
I hope this never happens to you again.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Again, OP never said anything about being 'kicked' or 'hurt', you're just presuming too much.
Kkkdawg 27
This is ******* wicked. ***** funny. I had a boyfriend scream out "and trogdor comes in the night" once and I didn't cry about it.
nanbz1003 1
sorry that happened to you but that is hysterical.
stitesy29 18
That guy is awesome
vantha 2
I'm sorry but i can't stop laughing
bton810 5
Haha that's awesome!!
Brooks2011 5
Genius haha
ebxr82nv 2
Funniest thing I've heard all day