Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
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Top comments
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Roguedork19 8
No, this is Patrick. O.o
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Comments (201)
GweedSincE84_fml 15
YES!!! That is effn awesome. I'm sorry op but someday you'll look back on this and laugh.
DanielT1994 19
Then it's hilarious.
DanielT1994 19
Then it's hilarious.
Morqan_Freeman 14
I dont usually laugh, but this was hilarious. I pictured your husband standing on top of the bed looking down on you with such pride and honour. Ahh... poor bastard.
Enslaved 38
It would have been cool if you fell back in slow motion. Providing you didn't get hurt and he was just trying to be a funny jokester.
GweedSincE84_fml 15
Really? Well if it is no longer funny, then how come everyone I showed this fml to including myself laughed? Riddle me that "human decency" aka annarr looking down from that pedestal of yours with judgmental eyes.
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
Refuse to have sex for a month then.
SirCharles83 13
Hey thats a great idea. Not having sex effects both parties in the relationship.
ClaremoreZebra 8
38, it's than my dear.
jennuhm 4
That's actually kind of funny. Next time do some shit like that to him :}
jennt89 10
What an ass... smh.
SuperDanielNL 23
Are you ******* Gerald Butler?
LSS_fml 18
I wish I was!!
SuperDanielNL 23
Well I wish I wasn't. Everyone has personal preferences I guess. :)