Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
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Top comments
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Roguedork19 8
No, this is Patrick. O.o
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Comments (201)
barronterrier 3
That's a man's man right there!
joe502 3
LOL holy crap... I am sorry for you! You should give him a Christmas foot in the ass.. LOL
coach25 5
That is hilarious. I am still laughing! I hate it for you, but that is epic!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
OMG I just laughed so hard I woke my mom up in the next room. That is absolutely hilarious, OP! It sucks for you, I'm sorry, and I do hope you're not hurt, but oh man that's so funny!!! Guys come up with some clever ways to finish sex on this site...
sugoine 12
Next time you have sex, do the same thing-then push him off the bed with your foot squarely in his nuts
gregkingsley 4
Lol
rivango_wolf 1
Now I know what I'm doing to my girlfriend tonight haha
rebelvamp420 14
This is epic!!!
indigo964 3
Too funny !
niquenique_ 7
He sounds amazing.