By SezzyJ - 02/10/2009 11:31 - Australia
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The problem is you gave him a gift for your "anniversary." You weren't married. Girls who celebrate dating, kissing, etc., anniversaries end up being high-maintenance. You pushed him away, and he finally realized it.
That's just a stupid theory. Just because it's fun to reminisce little anniversaries like first kiss doesn't mean a girl is high maintenance, and almost every couple I know not married celebrates anniversaries. Besides it's more romantic to celebrate the day you were first together than the day you signed a paper saying so.
an·ni·ver·sa·ry 1 : the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event; Just because they aren't married doesn't mean it isn't an anniversary. Plenty of people, at least around here, celebrate their dating anniversaries. In fact, I'd venture to guess that it's the norm. Just because she (and you really don't know, maybe he) wanted to do something nice to celebrate when they first started dating doesn't make her high maintenance in the least. If this FML read something like, "Today, for our anniversary, my boyfriend of four years gave me a dumb book of love poems instead of the diamond ring I'd been hinting at. FML." then you could argue that she was high maintenance and pushed him away. As it stands now, all we know is that she gave him an expensive gift.
I agree that the theory that she "pushed him away" is sorta ridiculous. And point made when you said "don't you ever get your friends gifts." It's beyond normal to give to the people who are close to you - especially intimately for four years. I imagine he probably felt that way for at least a little amount of time before the anniversary. A lot of guys brew those feelings in their heads for a bit before coming out with them (not all guys). Especially in relationships that are longer, because it's really hard to hurt someone who's that close to you and so connected with you. Sometimes guys hold that stuff in for several months before actually breaking up, and some for several weeks. I'm not defending him though, because it's somewhat of a flaw. Yeah it sucks hurting people but holding it in only makes it worse. Plus, it pushes you to the point where the only option you can see is breaking up...that's why it can be such a surprise for girls sometimes. Everything seems fine, then suddenly they get "the call." Guys often don't allow the room or time to talk about it. Even if you don't think talks will work, preparing your partner is always a good idea - letting her know you're having second thoughts. (Especially before an anniversary where it's likely money will be spent). I'm sorry this happened = When you pull through (and you will!), enjoy the freedom of discovering your individual self! It can be very self-revealing and satisfying. just my two cents =)