Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML
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Top comments
ElainaCutsYou 0
Better follow the directions
flockz 20
considerate sex? WTF are you talking about?!?! bf- "may i please stick my willy in you now?" gf-"yes but remember to keep all your clothing on and go slowly so i you don't hurt me." bf- "ok but can i slap your gluteus maximus as well?" gf- " no tht would be inconsiderate for me and my skin. oh and by the way, if you cum before i do, i'm going to dump you for being so inconsiderate." no do you realizehow stupi your comment was?
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Comments (185)
audie9010 0
isn't that part of foreplay oral sex and what not.
SpaceDementia_fml 4
Well, do u want to give him a bj? Lol, and if he's demanding, ya'll need to talk :P
Wtf91101 3
Get a girlfriend to write "toss my salad!" on your back with a arrow pointing to your ass. Then see if he follows directions.
2ndSucks 15
You should've played rave music later at climax. That'll spice things up.
FrankHotpants 31
ADTR is awesome :)
Bofferding_fml 6
If he needs a bj everytime to have sex, then maybe he has some kind of erection problems... If he can't it up for you without it
cgyguy 0
or maybe he just likes getting blown before he gas sex like almost every other man out there. women who expect but don't return foreplay wonder why their men cheat? maybe because they dint feel appreciated.
jumble 12
But he shouldn't demand it from her. If she doesn't want to do it she shouldn't be obligated to do so. There are other things they can do that will be a lot better than her giving him head. He needs to explore more because eventually he'll get tired of the same thing from her and move on. Or at least, in my opinion it seems like it'll turn out that way.
Dflips 0
Whats to complain about that so its ki da weird but so what
sciencekidster1 8
Nod, grin, and spread your legs!
Tookie22 5
Dude is a genius. Creative and spicing up your sex life. He seems very considerate. now I'm not saying fellatio but come on he tried. now it's your turn to try something.
sugarssweeter 0
Mine does the same thing.
woodrow68oo 2
You're like 12...
sugarssweeter 0
Im 17.
copy125 0
Dude this is the Internet, she can be what ever age she wants to be lol obviously
sugarbaby9908 20
That's awesome!!!!