This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 08:32 - United States - San Diego

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 444
You deserved it 2 765

Top comments

Bahaha, that's not how it works out all! He's supposed to pour it down his urethra an hour before sex. I've created a great kit for doing such a thing, and I'd be happy to sell one to him if he /really/ wants to avoid the whole condom/scam thing.

Comments

You should have a serious talk him. He might just be BSing the whole thing because he doesn't want to put one on, but if he actually believes what he's telling you then you could try sex ed I guess?

I just cringed hard at the thought of putting acid up your hoo-hah. Dude needs a strong reality check.

msmedieval 11

Your boyfriend is either too stupid or too cheap to pay for condoms. I really hope you at least had a serious conversation with him.

I'm sorry to tell you that, but the symptoms you described are clear, your boyfriend has idiocy.

dragoongirl90 34

Tell him to wash his dick with vinegar so he can see how vinegar on special places feels.

And he's gonna raise the kid with you? Sorry OP but he's a dick. If he cared about you he'd care about protecting you. Nobody likes condoms but if it's the chosen method of birth control (or std prevention) no partner should try to talk the other into not using it.

Ask your boyfriend what he sticks his dick in, in order to prevent genital warts, vd, and HIV after sex.

Please, for the love of the old gods and the new, don't let him procreate!

Well. That would probably kill off the sperm. But damn that would burn. What an idiot.