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This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

Anonymous San Diego, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML

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Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Top comments

Bahaha, that's not how it works out all! He's supposed to pour it down his urethra an hour before sex. I've created a great kit for doing such a thing, and I'd be happy to sell one to him if he /really/ wants to avoid the whole condom/scam thing.

Roskosity 22

What a dumbass.

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Comments (123)

Roskosity 22

What a dumbass.

For real, how could someone be stupid enough to stick around? Start thinking, OP.

Mathalamus 25

telling a stupid person to think... might just make them more stupid, because he doesn't seem to know anything about sex ed.

What a douche :p

Dumb ass is right! OP please keep using condoms, double up even and get birth control pills or the shot as well..... you definitely do not want to procreate with this genius! Good luck

What a genius???

Someone didn't take sex-ed, he does know babies don't get delivered by storks right?

Bahaha, that's not how it works out all! He's supposed to pour it down his urethra an hour before sex. I've created a great kit for doing such a thing, and I'd be happy to sell one to him if he /really/ wants to avoid the whole condom/scam thing.

Tbh, I'm fairly sure pouring vinegar down your urethra would make the likelihood of having sex in an hour extremely small so it probably works as a birth control.

I'll take one!

MikaykayUnicorn 36

I want one, does it work for vaginas?

Why do you make me cringe?

I think I've ordered from your Amazon page, dude. Great product - really works!

Wha... How?

i think you need rethink your choice in men

Oh the burns you would get if you actually did that

yeah that was my thought too

I don't know if any burning would occur, actually. According to CulturesForHealth.com and DoctorOz.com, apple cider vinegar has a pH of 4.25 whereas healthy vaginal pH tends to be between 3.5 to 4.5. While I don't know what negative effects would manifest, it really goes to show how throughly stupid the boyfriend is. If he's hoping the acidity would destroy sperm, all healthy vaginas would, and the human race would, you know, die. The more you know!

Actually, there's a historic precedent for this. Sex workers would use lemon juice, or certain other acids to reduce the chance of pregnancy, before condoms were more easily aquired. And less sanitary. (Three words: animal intestine condoms.)

Actually the acidic environment of the ****** is there to protect the womb, and -does- kill sperm. Seminal fluid is designed to protect the sperm long enough for them to make it past the ****** and into the uterus. Lemon juice / vinegar / other similarly acidic fluids, as previously stated, have long been used as a contraceptive douche. Heck at one point that's what Listerine was marketed as - a douche/vaginal wash for contraception and "womanly freshness"

But sperm survive in a mostly alkaline environment. So something needs to raise the pH of the ****** slightly so the sperm can survive into the uterus. As someone else pointed out, lemon juice was used as a contraceptive, and I've read that Casanova had his lovers use half of a lemon as a contraceptive (sort of a primitive diaphragm/spermicide type thing, I guess).

Id be very concerned. You can try to teach him sexed since obviously he didn't get correct information, if any. If you choose to have sex, make SURE he wears a condom. Don't just take his word. If he refuses..guess he will have to find something that doesn't take condoms. Like his hand.

Or she can use a female condom

What century is your boyfriend living in?

Let me know where/when the baby shower is?!