Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jam26 0
are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too
amirn86 0
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (248)
dedao_fml 0
Probably because you too tight. But go ahead and try again and again (3 more times I would say) if he keeps going for less than 10 minutes, dump him! (Before it gets too involved, like #13). Or teach him some sex art, someone people can go for over 2 hours non-stop (I can barely keep myself alive after those 2 hours, tho)
misfitmarta13 0
6 hours baby :)
sea333 3
dude I can barely go for an hour and a half. and six hours; I'd just get bored.
noclevername 0
#15, in two and a half years he didn't try to fix the problem. As far as she knew there wasn't a problem, so as long as he was getting off he was happy. #13 said it was a 'long story', not "Because of that, and that alone, we are not together anymore." There's nothing at all unreasonable about that. (@ #13, sorry for making assumptions and speaking on your behalf, just felt I should stick up against what I thought was an unfair attack)
reqret17 13
was about to do the same :D altho i wouldnt know im still a virgin and plan to be untill i feel i can marry the guy (not saying marrage just saying i have the idea i could)
pinkkitten_fml 0
At least he could get it up.....
erm 0
Now *that's* a quickie...
KenMcGormick 0
whoa... 30 secs!!!... thats too fast
loopy_fml 0
sad.
nebjamin69 0
If he is just getting too excited about the fact he's actually doing you now, he should try a little alcohol to take the edge off
Hum_fml 0
I was my boyfriends first time. And he was mine. When we first had sex he lasted for a long time. The times after he would come really quick:/ I'm sowee it suckss.
CrazyIvanVI 0
Do you women realize that sometimes guys get so nervous about making -you- feel good during sex they get off too fast, do you realize that when guys get off quick, it doesn't really feel great for them either? If it does, I feel bad for them, because that -is- pathetic. I swear I'm the only guy I know that actually has sex with girls for them, not for my own sake.
MrForgetable 0
For that comment, sir, you deserve an internet cookie.
reqret17 13
for that comment, i have the upmost respect for u
JackTheRipper_fml 0
agree with #29. first time i have sex with any women, i make it about them. then you're set for life.