Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
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Top comments
jam26 0
are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too
amirn86 0
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants
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Comments (248)
Tehalon 0
Tell him to wank off 3 times before having sex with him next time, then he'll last longer.
djsnipa1 0
Just want to let you know, not all of us are premature ;-)
shouldvesaidno 0
haha I feel your pain. I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and the longest time we had sex was 3 minutes. I thought it was normal because he was my first and I didn't know anything else otherwise.. After a few months of having sex I started talking to my friends about their sex lives and come to find out they go for hours. Long story short we are not together anymore.
SonyIsGod 13
Lol I have feeling that everyone who thumbed down the above comment is a two-pump-chump.
Gremlinek 16
13 It's amazing all the stories people tell. After guy has an erection for "hours" he will be screaming in pain if you even breathe on his crotch.
zeno2750 2
Maybe for you. I lasted 3 hours my first time. I'm guessing you don't know about Kegel Exercises?
funkycloud7137 0
At least you know that he now thinks you're great in bed :)
hoeskie69 0
#13, thats kind of harsh.. after 2 and a half years, and your willing to dumb him because of sex? Shallow, much?
Damone 0
well, sex is a very important thing, i say that was a good call for her, everyone is entitled to have the sex life they want, simply the guy wasn't fulfilling her. bet you would do the same
guillermods 3
But isn't that something that can be treated? I believe is shallow to break up just because of that.
withered 30
#214 It CAN be treated. The problem is when the partner that has that problem does nothing about it. When he doesn't even try to last longer and doesn't even care about the problem (not using other means to pleasure their partner). It shows how selfish that person is and that they obviously do not care enough about you to make that little bit of effort so sex is enjoyable for you too. And lets be honest - horrible sex is worse than no sex. So if that is the case with your partner I don't blame the other person for leaving.
SilentGround 0
HAHAHAHAHA @ #9
alotta_fachina 0
he's pathetic -_-
blackdogassault 0
To all the people saying virgins are done fast, not quite true. I had such a hard time that I gave up on that on my first time while still having an erection. And maybe he has a virgin fetish and won't be so damn fast next time. Who knows.
clamore 0
Oh my gosh, get over it everyone! Poor guy! This is probably the first time he's had sex in a long while if he was waiting for his virgin girlfriend to be ready- and there's nothing wrong with that! He got excited and let loose too early. Next time will be better.
anon_mou5 0
1st time i was supposed to have sex - he "finished" when putting the condom on! i hear u girl :( i hope it gets better for you! never gotten better for me!!!