Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Giggle loop
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Heartless swine
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
You've tried this before, right?
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
It's just a flesh wound!
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Do that again
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Nuts
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
So hott
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Top comments
jam26 0
are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too
amirn86 0
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants
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Comments (248)
Murphy_21 0
I like you 29. But my ex and I had a similar issue... it was every time we had sex. I think he lied about not being a virgin, but it was always about getting him off. Don't dump the boy give him some "help" beforehand. Make foreplay more interesting.
ThinkingPunkLove 0
YAY FOR #29!!!! Woop! ^.^ my boyfriends like that, he makes it about making me happen which always works ;D and in doing so it makes HIM happy, hehe. i dunno how long we usually go at it but i'd say i wouldn't doubt we've done it for two hours straight before. takes us both a long time to get off but its Really good and always an amazing ******, he gets off way faster if i talk dirty to back him ;D but when hes trying to last longer he names all the states in his head XD he'll be looking off to the side and mumbling so i'll ask him whats up and hes like "i'm naming all the states so i don't come". he does that because he likes me to come first, so he takes his mind off me and it feeling good and focuses on something else.
Damone 0
thats good but i personally dont like "talking my mind to other place" just to avoid cumming. i prefer to change position, try that, when your boy starts doin that, just say: SWITCH! and change position, that will calm him a bit and then continue. trust me, thats better
ThinkingPunkLove 0
YAY FOR #29!!!! Woop! ^.^ my boyfriends like that, he makes it about making me happen which always works ;D and in doing so it makes HIM happy, hehe. i dunno how long we usually go at it but i'd say i wouldn't doubt we've done it for two hours straight before. takes us both a long time to get off but its Really good and always an amazing ******, he gets off way faster if i talk dirty to back him ;D but when hes trying to last longer he names all the states in his head XD he'll be looking off to the side and mumbling so i'll ask him whats up and hes like "i'm naming all the states so i don't come". he does that because he likes me to come first, so he takes his mind off me and it feeling good and focuses on something else.
mobitsfa 1
Wow, that's the exact opposite of me. I remember the first time I had sex. It was a good hour before I gave up because I couldn't cum. My gf at the time, now wife was pretty happy though.
downeyjr 0
Aw, it'll get better, don't worry.
ThinkingPunkLove 0
YAY FOR #29!!!! Woop! ^.^ my boyfriends like that, he makes it about making me happen which always works ;D and in doing so it makes HIM happy, hehe. i dunno how long we usually go at it but i'd say i wouldn't doubt we've done it for two hours straight before. takes us both a long time to get off but its Really good and always an amazing ******, he gets off way faster if i talk dirty to back him ;D but when hes trying to last longer he names all the states in his head XD he'll be looking off to the side and mumbling so i'll ask him whats up and hes like "i'm naming all the states so i don't come". he does that because he likes me to come first, so he takes his mind off me and it feeling good and focuses on something else.
kirches 0
Man, it's not his fault if he had to wait so long. Besides, sometimes the first round is quick and you just buck up and do round two.
Broc 0
It happens to everyone, so don't give him too much shit for it.
AliSama 17
i agree with #69 position. It is a good one.
hayley2436 0
well said #29! i have the same problem except my boyfriend and i have been having sex for like 6 months now, and now all of a sudden hes really premature, sex hasn't been good for me for about 2 months, and he tells me it doesn't feel good for him and i can see it too he's frustrated with now being able to make it good for me, but you have to have patience, you were probably really tight and he hasn't had sex in a while seeing as how it was your first time, hopefully its not the same case as mine but it should get better!
Damone 0
That's the key word: "Frustrated" that's whats ******* him up. you need to help him relax. if he cums first TRY not to put a face like: "****! not again" cause that makes it worse. also he should try masturbating more often, practice makes it better you know.