Intimacy: Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 071

You deserved it 3 673

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 688

You deserved it 492

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 765

You deserved it 4 615

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 226

By thatisnotcool45 - 09/12/2011 05:22 - Canada

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 2 714

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 08:01 - United States - San Jacinto

Spicy

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 3 552

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 1 182

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 5 751

Small world

By ShouldICallYouDaddy - 30/04/2016 11:49 - United Kingdom - Grantham

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 335

You deserved it 2 415

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 931

You deserved it 4 792

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 243

Next

Top comments

Rkikkas9713 25

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:36

The only logical thing to do now is to **** his mother.

EvilLittleGirl 24

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:34

when "yo momma" jokes are too realistic....

Comments

mthurston 14

Saturday 15 August 2015 20:39

This made me think of the lonely island song "mother lover" w/ Justin Timberlake

bigdaddyeric 35

Tuesday 29 September 2015 9:54

And you can call him a ************ and mean it !

clicker2 10

Saturday 3 October 2015 8:46

But now you can also call him 'mother ******' and mean it.

Wrongdotcom 14

Tuesday 13 December 2016 3:00

Is your best friend your dad? If so then that's slightly inappropriate thing to say to your child. If that's not the case then is this person still your best friend?

xxWTFxx1981 23

Tuesday 5 July 2022 21:32

Damn you must have Stiflers mother... nice....

Keywords

Social Media Work Facebook Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity School Painful Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Anxiety Relatable Skincare Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Dreams

The Top

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 236

You deserved it 6 704

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 800

You deserved it 21 260

The Top

Today, I automated a task at work and a day-long procedure ran in a few hours. My boss was completely unimpressed because "I'm not paid to automate stuff, I'm paid to work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 741

You deserved it 307

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 804

You deserved it 63 437

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 708

You deserved it 4 749

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 3 517

Today, my fiancée's druggie sister turned up, but I shut the door in her face because the last time she was here £200 went missing and my floor safe had fresh scratches from someone trying and failing to pick the lock. The argument with my fiancée afterwards was so bad, she’s no longer my fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 114

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. Thirty minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 535

You deserved it 4 611