Intimacy: Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my...

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 681

You deserved it 491

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 1 168

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 585

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 224

By why.mom - 21/08/2019 00:01

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 158

By anonymous - 03/12/2009 06:55 - United States

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 763

You deserved it 82 654

By Bestfrienduncool - 30/09/2010 05:11 - France

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 762

You deserved it 2 665

Tonight, on Weird Parents…

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 831

You deserved it 7 334

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 801

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 9 008

By iams - 30/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 525

You deserved it 330

acmariner99 25

Monday 24 December 2018 14:57

Aren't double standards amazing?

julfunky 29

Monday 24 December 2018 16:39

She’s your mom, not his. Of course she’s going to lecture you and not him. Though the hive-five is definitely odd.

Comments

acmariner99 25

Monday 24 December 2018 14:57

Aren't double standards amazing?

julfunky 29

Monday 24 December 2018 16:39

She’s your mom, not his. Of course she’s going to lecture you and not him. Though the hive-five is definitely odd.

tounces7 27

Monday 24 December 2018 19:29

What in the absolute ****? What kind of ****** up mother high-fives a kid who slept with her daughter?

Mr_Mole 24

Tuesday 25 December 2018 23:48

A made up one.

Emma Marshall_738558922 12

Monday 24 December 2018 23:22

What a weird Bitch

PenguinPal3017 19

Tuesday 25 December 2018 0:05

I would feel so weird getting a high five from a mother for ******* her daughter.

fde2blknimout 18

Wednesday 26 December 2018 0:50

If “it” never went anywhere then what was the protection for?

coute21 6

Wednesday 26 December 2018 21:37

"It" meaning the relationship, not the sex.

slytheryn 14

Wednesday 26 December 2018 9:47

what the hell? lmfao

OneWhoKnows 5

Monday 5 August 2019 5:36

Sicko mom -Sounds like a narcissist

Keywords

Coworkers Death Work Politics Mental health Technology Transportation Cars Social Media Parents Video games Sex Gamers Poopoo peepee Awkward Kids Animals Cats Weird Snow Bosses Friends Painful Sports Accident Geek Embarrassing Students Music Party

The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 245

You deserved it 289

Today, despite being the first to hold all my other grandchildren, despite my son and bitch of a daughter-in-law agreeing I would be the first, I showed up at the hospital to see my daughter-in-law's father holding my grandchild before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 2 218

The Top

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 962

You deserved it 3 036

Today, I went to turn in a coding project a few days early. After months of working on a code and saving backups, everything is gone or corrupted. I have to start from square one and turn it in less than 48 hours from now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 140

Today, I sobbed hard to the point of hyperventilating and throwing up. Why? I instinctually stomped on a roach but didn’t see the egg sack she was carrying. I feel like I murdered a mom and her babies. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 880

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 267

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 694

You deserved it 3 392

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 5 664