Intimacy: Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 072

You deserved it 3 674

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 689

You deserved it 492

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 4 615

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 226

By thatisnotcool45 - 09/12/2011 05:22 - Canada

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 2 714

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 08:01 - United States - San Jacinto

Spicy

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 691

You deserved it 3 552

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 182

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 5 751

Small world

By ShouldICallYouDaddy - 30/04/2016 11:49 - United Kingdom - Grantham

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 335

You deserved it 2 415

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 931

You deserved it 4 792

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 244

Next

Top comments

Rkikkas9713 25

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:36

The only logical thing to do now is to **** his mother.

EvilLittleGirl 24

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:34

when "yo momma" jokes are too realistic....

Comments

snowflake2410 3

Friday 24 April 2015 17:43

Lol say hi to paul finch for me, Stifler.

emmama19 15

Friday 24 April 2015 19:10

I would never be able to look at my mum the same again. That's like ******* her own son! noooo nooo the image of your friend as well could make hanging out again a friendship deal breaker.

Kittyphysics 21

Friday 24 April 2015 20:13

Im floored at how many comments there are condemning the friend. seriously. you've got the shittiest mom in the world, op. I'm sorry. what the actual ****, lady!?

mjg1416 10

Saturday 25 April 2015 3:04

I'd be mad at my mother more then I would be at my best friend. WTF MOM

robgarciax 4

Saturday 25 April 2015 5:13

wow so that actually does happen?

minimuni 7

Saturday 25 April 2015 7:55

ff

Bubblez2009 15

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:25

Ouch

candygirl2015 12

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:38

**** him back

Emily282828 2

Saturday 25 April 2015 17:22

Wha. . .? ? ':-0

Neekovolwf 22

Saturday 25 April 2015 19:30

Wow that really sucks OP... That's one ****** up friend

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The Top

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 299

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 127

The Top

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 892

You deserved it 4 009

Today, a girl I've liked for the longest time kept asking me to reveal my "deepest secret" in exchange for hers. Thinking this was flirting, I told her my secret was that I liked her. Her secret was that she was a "lesbian and just had to tell somebody." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 404

You deserved it 2 369

Today, I found out my boss was quiet-firing me on purpose. Apparently, his daughter who works at this same company is pregnant now and needs a promotion. I have a Master’s and have been here for 9 years. She dropped out of college because it was “too hard” and the other day she put a metal spoon in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 74

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 34

Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 66

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 171

You deserved it 2 505