Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 22/1/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

Assumptions

Weird kid

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

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By jacquelle - 25/2/2010 18:12 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

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By fuck russia and fuck georgia too - 9/3/2014 18:38 - Azerbaijan

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

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By ouch - 2/3/2014 08:44 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

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By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

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By seriously? - 5/8/2013 05:11 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

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By awkward - 5/9/2017 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

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By kdeeeceee - 5/11/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

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By DebbiemontG - 19/9/2019 16:01

Pay up, sunshine

Today, after a whole summer of waiting, I went to check my school's website so that I could start my first year again since I had some complications the first time round. I found out that they'd blocked my account and that the fee I'd have to pay was now triple the original. FML

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By agh marriage - 11/10/2012 05:56 - Australia - Albany Creek

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

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By NoTeddies - 21/9/2016 22:48 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

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By Ihatebuses - 14/6/2018 19:00

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

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By maribel - 4/6/2011 11:27 - United States

Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, and the woman he cheated on me with. FML

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By whytoday - 21/5/2012 14:59

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

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By ywouldudomelikethat - 3/1/2016 20:02 - United States - Renton

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

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By HM - 28/7/2010 11:42 - United States

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

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By Justmyluck - 21/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Bloomsburg

Today, after a week of no side effects, my bronchitis medication decided to screw me over. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and half of my face is sunburnt in randomized patches. Guess who has a huge presentation today. FML

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By geek - 22/7/2015 03:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 07:41 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

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By Rimmy Jobs - 21/8/2012 16:39 - United States

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

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By nV1ous - 17/9/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2010 22:07 - Israel

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

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By Benjamin - 25/1/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

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By GonnaGetFired - 31/3/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

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By sochunky - 5/1/2016 22:23 - United Kingdom - Bromham

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

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By b. - 24/9/2009 10:06 - Australia

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

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By depressedskatergirl - 7/2/2015 02:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

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By Ineverknew - 19/3/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

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By wtf - 3/2/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

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By disturbed - 10/5/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/9/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I had just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

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By Kelly - 2/3/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

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By Tess - 18/3/2020 02:01 - United States - Burlington

The Haunting of FML House

Today, hidden deep in my husband's closet, I found a shrine dedicated to a woman named Felicity. After further investigation, I saw printouts of my husband's detailed fantasies of phone sex conversations with Felicity. Felicity was his first wife, and has been dead for nine years. FML

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By wrongnumber - 14/1/2011 08:37 - United States

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

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By firefliiez - 15/11/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

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By ProAwkward - 18/6/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

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By thepigeonsfriend - 7/5/2012 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

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Top comments

By xlostwithoutu | 0

#790762 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:12

Well tHat's just disgusting... u have a terrible mother and a terrible boyfriend FYL

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

COMMENTS

By DocsWifey | 0

#790710 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:33

wow fyl!

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#791380 - Friday 22 January 2010 20:22

*shifty eyes*

Did you....... Did you do them?

Never gets old. Zing!!!

Reply

HoesInaBox | 0

#791808 - Friday 22 January 2010 23:42

Ehh?! should you be upset that your boyfriend is cheating, or that your mom is a whore?

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#791906 - Saturday 23 January 2010 0:20

Most likely both...

Reply

luuuu20 | 0

#792021 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:08

stacys mom has got it goin on she's all want I waited so long Stacy can't u see your just not the girl for me all I want is Stacys mom lmaooooo sry I just had to sing that song

Reply

dudeitsdanny | 9

#792125 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:43

It would have been better had you not butchered the lyrics

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#792861 - Saturday 23 January 2010 9:34

A good canadian lad never gets lyrics right, it's our birthright.

Reply

toxic10uhc | 0

#794640 - Sunday 24 January 2010 3:34

haha I agree

Reply

ObSCENEx | 3

#794797 - Sunday 24 January 2010 5:16

awwww dude that sucks :(

Reply

steephhh | 0

#795599 - Sunday 24 January 2010 15:42

i agree

Reply

Endless | 0

#976589 - Thursday 8 April 2010 23:41

yummy

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#976722 - Friday 9 April 2010 6:08

that would be sooo hot :p

Reply

yuop77 | 0

#979581 - Wednesday 14 April 2010 2:57

139 canada= win! btw saw this on familyguy so tht is wat i pictured lol. not saying ur a lyer but it was funny :p

Reply

zolltf | 4

#980075 - Thursday 15 April 2010 15:24

doin your mom
doin doin your mom
you know we straight we doin your mom

Reply

mazuma | 0

#981258 - Sunday 18 April 2010 8:17

1.your mom's a cougar 2. and you boyfriend is an idiot, or your just really ugly.

Reply

doo_da_doo | 0

#991115 - Wednesday 12 May 2010 4:34

it's like an episode from family guy!

Reply

Mcstroodlenugget | 0

#1007012 - Tuesday 25 May 2010 18:10

ouch

Reply

Failbuddy | 0

#1014713 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 8:09

that dude is pretty dope.

Reply

austinq15 | 1

#3716962 - Sunday 11 December 2011 22:13

RayWJ!

Reply

belair_fml | 0

#4521060 - Monday 4 June 2012 14:59

So epic. Love RWJ!

By imanethesmart | 0

#790712 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:35

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By emmARGH | 0

#790717 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:38

yeeouchh!

Reply

Ran_Ran | 0

#794045 - Saturday 23 January 2010 23:11

hot^

Reply

striker555 | 0

#795838 - Sunday 24 January 2010 17:39

agreed

Reply

wooters | 1

#1002988 - Sunday 23 May 2010 5:22

me 3 o.o take it off!!!

Reply

HeavyWeaponsGuy | 21

#6701843 - Thursday 13 October 2016 4:13

what is wrong with you guys

By LoveDemon | 19

#790720 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:39

Well ... atleast you found out ...

Reply

GameDub | 0

#795667 - Sunday 24 January 2010 16:21

lol I would've rather have not known about it

Reply

fudgnugget | 0

#814292 - Monday 1 February 2010 3:06

well now we know u didn't get ur looks from her side

Reply

m0tl3ycru3 | 0

#3587258 - Tuesday 15 November 2011 1:42

OP's mom's a cougar

Reply

GnaR_KiLL5150 | 12

#6045519 - Saturday 23 August 2014 2:25

Dear penthouse forum...

By anela_fml | 0

#790722 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:40

ahhhhh WTF

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

Reply

christttinaaaxo | 0

#790797 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:44

woww

Reply

Sionnach | 10

#790836 - Friday 22 January 2010 14:31

Kick 'em both. Personally I figure your mother's the one who really deserves the most pain.

Reply

SomeonethingStup | 0

#791524 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:28

I'd be more pissed at the mother than him......

Yea, beat 'em both.

Reply

chih | 0

#804067 - Thursday 28 January 2010 6:07

you should kick your mom in the cooch.

By SliceNthrice | 0

#790728 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

bhenchod | 0

#791554 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:40

I agree its frickin HOT. It's just like scene 5 from that porno "Fuck my mom and me", I always wondered where they got such imaginative scenes from.

Reply

MrPlanters | 0

#792153 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:50

hahahaha.... its funny because its true

Reply

Mahyar | 2

#799121 - Tuesday 26 January 2010 4:10

WTF

Reply

gladstone123 | 5

#2539729 - Friday 20 May 2011 19:23

She will be loved...

By catriona_cd | 0

#790732 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:44

i refuse to be the one that says "it"
fyl indeed

By mini1 | 0

#790738 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:47

Threesome anyone?

By Shadic | 0

#790743 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:50

What happens in Vegas?

Reply

og_loc | 0

#790883 - Friday 22 January 2010 15:05

Stays elsewhere.

Reply

allmidnighteyes | 10

#792666 - Saturday 23 January 2010 6:25

Stays in Vegas. Unless it's herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.