Love: Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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Commando

Out of it

Season finale

By Ummm - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

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By Sammy - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

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By hatetheroommate - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2021 02:00

Caught!

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, thanks to a friend's TikTok account. FML

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By dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

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By c - United States - Denham Springs

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

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By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

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By sopissed - United States - Laurel

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

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By cydia123

Today, my boss threatened to fire me. Why? An old lady spent 30 minutes looking at our menu before asking for "cottage pie." After telling her that it wasn't an item on the menu, she spent another 20 minutes deciding. She then asked for several more items we didn't have, then complained to my boss. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hillsboro

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML

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By horny bastard - United States

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bronx

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

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By jazthefish - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

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By Embarrassed daughter.. - United States

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

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By Mia - India - Mumbai

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

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By GD - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

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By Anonymous - Mozambique

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

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By Jonathan - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

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By Katrina641 - France

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

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By Onlymeiswear - 15/3/2021 05:01

Sounds like a scam

Today, I bought a car. Made a down payment and everything. Have the papers saying it’s mine, only to find out a few hours later it was sold right before I bought it. FML

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By LoveLifeFail - 11/4/2021 14:01 - Canada

Love bites

Today, the man I love showed me the ring he's going to give to the woman that he loves. Who is someone else. FML

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By cat_loser

Today, I agreed to catsit for a friend. Her cat rode back to my house sitting on my shoulder in the car. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped out and ran off into the woods. It's been 2 1/2 hours and not even food will entice him back to me. FML

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By yikes - United States

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

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By zcollins - United States - Pleasanton

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

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By merrymary - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

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By Lilly_28 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

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By Time to study again

Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML

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By Misc. - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

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By questionmark707 - United States - Fullerton

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

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By

Don't care

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age nor birthday. They are twins. FML

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By confused - France

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

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By anaph0re - France

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

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By papergirl - United States

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

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Top comments

By xlostwithoutu | 0

#790762 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:12

Well tHat's just disgusting... u have a terrible mother and a terrible boyfriend FYL

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

COMMENTS

By DocsWifey | 0

#790710 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:33

wow fyl!

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#791380 - Friday 22 January 2010 20:22

*shifty eyes*

Did you....... Did you do them?

Never gets old. Zing!!!

Reply

HoesInaBox | 0

#791808 - Friday 22 January 2010 23:42

Ehh?! should you be upset that your boyfriend is cheating, or that your mom is a whore?

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#791906 - Saturday 23 January 2010 0:20

Most likely both...

Reply

luuuu20 | 0

#792021 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:08

stacys mom has got it goin on she's all want I waited so long Stacy can't u see your just not the girl for me all I want is Stacys mom lmaooooo sry I just had to sing that song

Reply

dudeitsdanny | 9

#792125 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:43

It would have been better had you not butchered the lyrics

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#792861 - Saturday 23 January 2010 9:34

A good canadian lad never gets lyrics right, it's our birthright.

Reply

toxic10uhc | 0

#794640 - Sunday 24 January 2010 3:34

haha I agree

Reply

ObSCENEx | 3

#794797 - Sunday 24 January 2010 5:16

awwww dude that sucks :(

Reply

steephhh | 0

#795599 - Sunday 24 January 2010 15:42

i agree

Reply

Endless | 0

#976589 - Thursday 8 April 2010 23:41

yummy

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#976722 - Friday 9 April 2010 6:08

that would be sooo hot :p

Reply

yuop77 | 0

#979581 - Wednesday 14 April 2010 2:57

139 canada= win! btw saw this on familyguy so tht is wat i pictured lol. not saying ur a lyer but it was funny :p

Reply

zolltf | 4

#980075 - Thursday 15 April 2010 15:24

doin your mom
doin doin your mom
you know we straight we doin your mom

Reply

mazuma | 0

#981258 - Sunday 18 April 2010 8:17

1.your mom's a cougar 2. and you boyfriend is an idiot, or your just really ugly.

Reply

doo_da_doo | 0

#991115 - Wednesday 12 May 2010 4:34

it's like an episode from family guy!

Reply

Mcstroodlenugget | 0

#1007012 - Tuesday 25 May 2010 18:10

ouch

Reply

Failbuddy | 0

#1014713 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 8:09

that dude is pretty dope.

Reply

austinq15 | 1

#3716962 - Sunday 11 December 2011 22:13

RayWJ!

Reply

belair_fml | 0

#4521060 - Monday 4 June 2012 14:59

So epic. Love RWJ!

By imanethesmart | 0

#790712 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By emmARGH | 0

#790717 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:38

yeeouchh!

Reply

Ran_Ran | 0

#794045 - Saturday 23 January 2010 23:11

hot^

Reply

striker555 | 0

#795838 - Sunday 24 January 2010 17:39

agreed

Reply

wooters | 1

#1002988 - Sunday 23 May 2010 5:22

me 3 o.o take it off!!!

Reply

HeavyWeaponsGuy | 21

#6701843 - Thursday 13 October 2016 4:13

what is wrong with you guys

By LoveDemon | 19

#790720 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:39

Well ... atleast you found out ...

Reply

GameDub | 0

#795667 - Sunday 24 January 2010 16:21

lol I would've rather have not known about it

Reply

fudgnugget | 0

#814292 - Monday 1 February 2010 3:06

well now we know u didn't get ur looks from her side

Reply

m0tl3ycru3 | 0

#3587258 - Tuesday 15 November 2011 1:42

OP's mom's a cougar

Reply

GnaR_KiLL5150 | 12

#6045519 - Saturday 23 August 2014 2:25

Dear penthouse forum...

By anela_fml | 0

#790722 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:40

ahhhhh WTF

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

Reply

christttinaaaxo | 0

#790797 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:44

woww

Reply

Sionnach | 10

#790836 - Friday 22 January 2010 14:31

Kick 'em both. Personally I figure your mother's the one who really deserves the most pain.

Reply

SomeonethingStup | 0

#791524 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:28

I'd be more pissed at the mother than him......

Yea, beat 'em both.

Reply

chih | 0

#804067 - Thursday 28 January 2010 6:07

you should kick your mom in the cooch.

By SliceNthrice | 0

#790728 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

bhenchod | 0

#791554 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:40

I agree its frickin HOT. It's just like scene 5 from that porno "Fuck my mom and me", I always wondered where they got such imaginative scenes from.

Reply

MrPlanters | 0

#792153 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:50

hahahaha.... its funny because its true

Reply

Mahyar | 2

#799121 - Tuesday 26 January 2010 4:10

WTF

Reply

gladstone123 | 5

#2539729 - Friday 20 May 2011 19:23

She will be loved...

By catriona_cd | 0

#790732 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:44

i refuse to be the one that says "it"
fyl indeed

By mini1 | 0

#790738 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:47

Threesome anyone?

By Shadic | 0

#790743 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:50

What happens in Vegas?

Reply

og_loc | 0

#790883 - Friday 22 January 2010 15:05

Stays elsewhere.

Reply

allmidnighteyes | 10

#792666 - Saturday 23 January 2010 6:25

Stays in Vegas. Unless it's herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.