Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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There's no helping some people

This is us

This guy is a GENIUS

By a man - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

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By analeis - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

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By shitballs_911 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

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By Shelly - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

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By ohmigodimchokin - United States

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

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By blonde moment

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

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By Guy - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML

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By Mayabie - France

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

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By mycedes - United States

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

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By Heatherrolstonn - United States - Suwanee

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

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By billjoebob424 - 7/2/2020 01:00 - Canada

My pleasure

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rapid City

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lawrence

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 09:57 - Argentina - Burzaco

The death of romance

Today, I was swiping on Tinder when the app told me there was one else left to meet. I haven't had any matches. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salinas

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

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By annoyed - United States

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

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By so bored -__- - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

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By LadyGrey

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

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By justhereforlaughs - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

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By mmv - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

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By ribx - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

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By Curt - United States

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

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By Rainydaze - United States - Hillsboro

Today, the guy I hooked up with last summer who was "going through a divorce" welcomed his new baby with his loving wife. FML

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By Malarky - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

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By why me?? - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

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By WolfsScar - 8/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Be careful, please!

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

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By Anonymous

Fetish

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

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By HSampsON - Niger - Niamey

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

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By Misspoopypants

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

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By helper - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

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By brebre101 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, while on vacation, I got fired for not working a shift I wasn't scheduled for. Even after texting my boss a copy of my vacation approval letter, she still fired me. FML

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By popasquat

Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML

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Top comments

By xlostwithoutu | 0

#790762 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:12

Well tHat's just disgusting... u have a terrible mother and a terrible boyfriend FYL

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

COMMENTS

By DocsWifey | 0

#790710 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:33

wow fyl!

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#791380 - Friday 22 January 2010 20:22

*shifty eyes*

Did you....... Did you do them?

Never gets old. Zing!!!

Reply

HoesInaBox | 0

#791808 - Friday 22 January 2010 23:42

Ehh?! should you be upset that your boyfriend is cheating, or that your mom is a whore?

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#791906 - Saturday 23 January 2010 0:20

Most likely both...

Reply

luuuu20 | 0

#792021 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:08

stacys mom has got it goin on she's all want I waited so long Stacy can't u see your just not the girl for me all I want is Stacys mom lmaooooo sry I just had to sing that song

Reply

dudeitsdanny | 9

#792125 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:43

It would have been better had you not butchered the lyrics

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#792861 - Saturday 23 January 2010 9:34

A good canadian lad never gets lyrics right, it's our birthright.

Reply

toxic10uhc | 0

#794640 - Sunday 24 January 2010 3:34

haha I agree

Reply

ObSCENEx | 3

#794797 - Sunday 24 January 2010 5:16

awwww dude that sucks :(

Reply

steephhh | 0

#795599 - Sunday 24 January 2010 15:42

i agree

Reply

Endless | 0

#976589 - Thursday 8 April 2010 23:41

yummy

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#976722 - Friday 9 April 2010 6:08

that would be sooo hot :p

Reply

yuop77 | 0

#979581 - Wednesday 14 April 2010 2:57

139 canada= win! btw saw this on familyguy so tht is wat i pictured lol. not saying ur a lyer but it was funny :p

Reply

zolltf | 4

#980075 - Thursday 15 April 2010 15:24

doin your mom
doin doin your mom
you know we straight we doin your mom

Reply

mazuma | 0

#981258 - Sunday 18 April 2010 8:17

1.your mom's a cougar 2. and you boyfriend is an idiot, or your just really ugly.

Reply

doo_da_doo | 0

#991115 - Wednesday 12 May 2010 4:34

it's like an episode from family guy!

Reply

Mcstroodlenugget | 0

#1007012 - Tuesday 25 May 2010 18:10

ouch

Reply

Failbuddy | 0

#1014713 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 8:09

that dude is pretty dope.

Reply

austinq15 | 1

#3716962 - Sunday 11 December 2011 22:13

RayWJ!

Reply

belair_fml | 0

#4521060 - Monday 4 June 2012 14:59

So epic. Love RWJ!

By imanethesmart | 0

#790712 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:35

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By emmARGH | 0

#790717 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:38

yeeouchh!

Reply

Ran_Ran | 0

#794045 - Saturday 23 January 2010 23:11

hot^

Reply

striker555 | 0

#795838 - Sunday 24 January 2010 17:39

agreed

Reply

wooters | 1

#1002988 - Sunday 23 May 2010 5:22

me 3 o.o take it off!!!

Reply

HeavyWeaponsGuy | 21

#6701843 - Thursday 13 October 2016 4:13

what is wrong with you guys

By LoveDemon | 19

#790720 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:39

Well ... atleast you found out ...

Reply

GameDub | 0

#795667 - Sunday 24 January 2010 16:21

lol I would've rather have not known about it

Reply

fudgnugget | 0

#814292 - Monday 1 February 2010 3:06

well now we know u didn't get ur looks from her side

Reply

m0tl3ycru3 | 0

#3587258 - Tuesday 15 November 2011 1:42

OP's mom's a cougar

Reply

GnaR_KiLL5150 | 12

#6045519 - Saturday 23 August 2014 2:25

Dear penthouse forum...

By anela_fml | 0

#790722 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:40

ahhhhh WTF

By CYNNER | 0

#790727 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Indeed. thats horrible. you need to kick him.... repeatedly

Reply

christttinaaaxo | 0

#790797 - Friday 22 January 2010 13:44

woww

Reply

Sionnach | 10

#790836 - Friday 22 January 2010 14:31

Kick 'em both. Personally I figure your mother's the one who really deserves the most pain.

Reply

SomeonethingStup | 0

#791524 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:28

I'd be more pissed at the mother than him......

Yea, beat 'em both.

Reply

chih | 0

#804067 - Thursday 28 January 2010 6:07

you should kick your mom in the cooch.

By SliceNthrice | 0

#790728 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:42

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

bhenchod | 0

#791554 - Friday 22 January 2010 21:40

I agree its frickin HOT. It's just like scene 5 from that porno "Fuck my mom and me", I always wondered where they got such imaginative scenes from.

Reply

MrPlanters | 0

#792153 - Saturday 23 January 2010 1:50

hahahaha.... its funny because its true

Reply

Mahyar | 2

#799121 - Tuesday 26 January 2010 4:10

WTF

Reply

gladstone123 | 5

#2539729 - Friday 20 May 2011 19:23

She will be loved...

By catriona_cd | 0

#790732 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:44

i refuse to be the one that says "it"
fyl indeed

By mini1 | 0

#790738 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:47

Threesome anyone?

By Shadic | 0

#790743 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:50

What happens in Vegas?

Reply

og_loc | 0

#790883 - Friday 22 January 2010 15:05

Stays elsewhere.

Reply

allmidnighteyes | 10

#792666 - Saturday 23 January 2010 6:25

Stays in Vegas. Unless it's herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.