Intimacy: Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 072

You deserved it 3 674

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 689

You deserved it 492

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 4 615

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 226

By thatisnotcool45 - 09/12/2011 05:22 - Canada

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 2 714

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 08:01 - United States - San Jacinto

Spicy

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 691

You deserved it 3 552

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 182

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 5 751

Small world

By ShouldICallYouDaddy - 30/04/2016 11:49 - United Kingdom - Grantham

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 335

You deserved it 2 415

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 931

You deserved it 4 792

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 244

Next

Top comments

Rkikkas9713 25

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:36

The only logical thing to do now is to **** his mother.

EvilLittleGirl 24

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:34

when "yo momma" jokes are too realistic....

Comments

Takis_Best 12

Thursday 23 April 2015 22:39

Plot twist, his dad is his best friend.

BasedgodFYB 8

Thursday 23 April 2015 22:47

Tooooo far, that's when you shoot him in the dick with a pellet rifle

Baegel 15

Thursday 23 April 2015 23:43

well that sucks

Notwillsmith 5

Friday 24 April 2015 1:19

So did she.

reaxion 25

Friday 24 April 2015 1:39

That guy's such a ************

cgreen0710 4

Friday 24 April 2015 3:15

Yeah but really who hasn't ****** your mom

shootupsatan 7

Friday 24 April 2015 4:35

I'm so sorry

wazzup206 7

Friday 24 April 2015 4:37

Mother lover ***** each others mothers

pvttex1 5

Friday 24 April 2015 4:59

This is awesome, my brothers friend can say the same thing about my brother. It's only a life bud, you'll be okay. Just awkward for a few months, probably years. Good luck!

PainfullyObvious 10

Friday 24 April 2015 5:23

Looks like you two can be the new Justin Timberlake and Andy Samburg... (Snl's mother lover)

EvAN_117 17

Friday 24 April 2015 10:30

???

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Keywords

Clumsy Accident Health Periods Relatable Food Embarrassing Airport Vacation Zoom Work Animals Cats My ex Awkward Parents Love Kids Plumbing Miscellaneous DIY Transportation Clothes Fire Bodyshaming AITA Relationship advice Break-ups Ironic Cute

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 204

You deserved it 7 094

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 438

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, after explicitly telling everyone we know that we were having a date night to ourselves, my wife’s sister turned up at our house because she “heard you were all by yourselves without the kids so I thought I’d come over to keep you company.” Never a fucking moment to ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 190

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over one of our dog's toys. Instead of telling the doctors what actually happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 179

You deserved it 2 510

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend. In front of my wife. There was nowhere to run since we were in the car and my Bluetooth feature was on. My girlfriend’s phone had died and unbeknownst to me, she was calling from her mom’s phone, which is why I answered. I'm now walking home. It’s 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 4 113

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 5 536

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 2 721

Today, we can finally order badly needed safety gear for my crew. My boss flipped his shit, demanding that I "stop bringing it up, it's annoying" for doing my damndest to keep up with industry standards. I was brought to tears for literally doing my job, with no "peers" to back me, since I'm an HR department of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 79