Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML
Today, I caught my husband's crazy aunt attempting to steal from my daughter's piggy bank. When I confronted her, she tried to defend herself by saying, "She's 2 months-old, she doesn't need the money!" FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I caught my sister taking money from my wallet. When I confronted her, she claimed that she was actually putting back money that she had stolen earlier. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I finally confronted my mom for robbing me of my inheritance from my dad. Apparently she was justified in taking it because she "needed it to raise me" and "to keep a roof over our heads" as I was growing up. As a result, I'm an adult with no nest egg whatsoever. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
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Top comments
Skiddywompus 0
The ****? How dare you steal their milk duds!
Denikk 0
What a lovely family...
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Comments (154)
ifailcuzilame 8
Dude that's funny as hell
On_The_Radio 1
Not the milkduds!
outsidehitter7 9
Sue em! Have em arrested. That's what I would do.
bccaper 3
this looks like a case for Judge Judy lol
artisticninja713 13
Who are you Harry Potter?
MadameMiller 6
Buy them some milk duds to make up for eating theirs. If that doesn't get your money back. Give them a boxof milk duds, only milk duds, for birthdays, x mas, etc.
GinaBorovnica 3
I just read that entire thing in Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter's voice.
dmeloccaro 5
This is so hilarious. I love how she looked you dead in the eye and said milk duds, I get such a funny visual.
AKSpray 4
Call the cops.
wicked11 4
Don't mess with someone's Milk Duds.