Miscellaneous: Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as...

By screamo - 02/05/2009 20:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 857

You deserved it 46 785

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Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 803

You deserved it 4 714

Spooked

By awkwardpartybear - 04/01/2014 23:43 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 842

You deserved it 17 634

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 614

You deserved it 35 174

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 559

You deserved it 29 176

WORRIED

By Katy Avada_80203913 - 20/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 95

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 40 654

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 923

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 2 791

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 744

You deserved it 5 967

WTF mom?

By whowhat - 11/07/2013 06:26 - United States

Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 653

You deserved it 4 037

mogan_fml 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 9:58

dang. i wish i had a big, strapping young man like you around my house.

trevorus 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 9:44

You're one of them manly men, aren't you? Hehe...

Comments

anon931 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 18:36

hahahahaha :) this made my day.

fireandblood 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:02

You could also have written "I'm a 21 year old guy and don't know that 'disorientated' is not a word." The adjective form is "disoriented."

twilighter_644 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:10

omg hhaahah this was the only FML that made me lol in a while once i read it, i started cracking up =D, the "screamed and dove under the covers" part rly gets me

kellster 2

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:12

It's disoriented, dear. And that's hilarious!

nammz 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:32

i would so do this in fact, i have done this. haha

innit 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:46

Firstly, for everyone that says its 'disoriented', 'disorientated' is in the UK English dictionary. FYL for commenting on a FML story about it's grammar. And where in this FML say he lives at home? He might just be visiting. This made me laugh :) I'd do the same, don't worry! Haha.

DizzyyDaiss 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:54

#59 i totally agree. FYL for commenting on grammar haha! great story, haven't found one that made me laugh this hard in ages!!

foolsangel 4

Sunday 3 May 2009 20:14

That kind of thing happened to me once when I had a bad fever and was disoriented. I woke up in the middle of the night to see a giant black mass move in front of the TV and screamed my head off, thinking someone had broken in and was coming for me.