Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
jake3292 5
Lmafo little nine year olds cursing
MrsAgony 6
Why is that 9 year old swearing and being disrespectful? Bad parenting skills there ey? Id sent my neice to bootcamp if she new what a virgin was before the age of 12.
KingCeltic77 18
Wow. Kids today are just unbelievable. It's a bit depressing.
anthony99 14
Sadly, it wouldn't surprise me if your niece already lost her virginity at age 9
drpepper2019 21
Why? I'm 12 and I'm a virgin.
still_guns 16
Well at least she didn't say something like 'haha beat you'
blackwidowtaco 31
Quite a potty mouth on that one already, jeez. Sorry op, don't regret your choice, you'll be a lot happier once you find the right one & do decide to have sex.
flootershy 7
Why, just WHY??
tyra8972 8
Some 9 year old!!
fantasyworld 39
How does a 9 year old know what a virgin and sex is?
aspecialspecial 21
Your 9 year old niece has some Bad parents....