Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Unresolved issues
Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Sleep demon
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
Fight Club Penguin
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Affectionate, huh?
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Goals!
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
Not her fault nor mine
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Top comments
kurodansei 16
Discipline. Use it.
alexmac222 17
Must not hurt too bad considering you don't have balls to discipline and discuss your daughter's actions with her. She's 7! Come on, man! Grow a pair.
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Comments (331)
dispwned 8
And that's what spankings are for.
ImpracticalJoekr 9
I NEVER dared doing anything like that. If I acted up, I would get a certain look and a 'stop it!' and that was enough to strike the fear of god into me. Seriously, man up and punish her in whatever way works. She won't learn if you don't teach her.
Opinion_ 9
It is my opinion that she needs a spanking, I have read ever comment and reply and, spankings are not child abuse, it is punishment. I see a lot of people also saying "You want her to stop hitting people so you hit her?" Well this is getting to be less and less true, but, if you kill another human being do you not get killed by the state? (Again, getting less and less true sadly, is the life of the man who killed worth more than the one who died? My opinion.) I was spanked till I was about 13, I think I turned out well. As for those stating (Or mostly one person saying it over and over) that she is just 7, thats plenty old enough to know right from wrong, what I really think is wrong with this generation (That I must sadly call myself a part of.) is that so many people are getting pregnant at young ages, and still growing up, they don't know how to parent correctly (There may be a few who are doing well, but most aren't.) because they themselves are still being parented. They don't like the way their parents are treating them (Spankings and discipline and such.) because they aren't old enough to see it is for their own good, so they don't do it to their kid because they see it as wrong and they know what its like (But don't yet understand it is for their own good)
Lasagnaa 24
You need to learn to discipline her. if you don't, she's gonna continue to do that to you and she'll think it's ok to do it to other people.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
So wear a cup; once she realizes it's no fun anymore she'll stop doing it!
Dgooder 6
Yes discipline her but, you clearly have no idea what this means. Maybe you are one of thrse parents too busy on their phone to notice what's happening. Who maybe lets their child run riot and speak to you like shit because its easier that way. Anything for a quiet life. I would imagine your daughter is a little shit because you have allowed her to think this behaviour is acceptable. Please don't have any more children until you have learn't what to do.
xSkittle 16
In my opinion spanking is never the answer. There are so much alternatives which are effective and don't have a bad influence on the relationship between parent and child. I think anyone who studied this theme would agree.
Opinion_ 9
I don't know if that was meant to be a reply to me because both our comments started with "In my opinion" I also don't know why someone gave you a down vote for sharing your opinion in a non rude way, I disagree but I upvoted you to get you out of the negatives. Does someone going to jail for a crime cause them to hate the country? (Or have a had relationship with the country, but I think that makes less sense) Spanking is a punishment for a "crime" (Disobedience/disrespect) a punishment isn't meant to just make them stop (That would be much like self defense and against a 7 year old that isn't needed.) it is to teach them right from wrong. It is to teach them that things that they don't like will happen when they do wrong, groundings aren't that big of a deal (To me at least, and most people I know.) they are just a lot more annoying and make me more upset towards my parent, example, Im not allowed on my laptop anymore? I get upset because I paid for half of it and I don't think it should be taken away from me, do I really care that my laptop is taken away? No not really, Im just pissed that it is. Will I do whatever I did to get it taken away again? Probably. Because I don't care about the laptop, take all my stuff away, all it'll do is piss me off, nothing more.
xSkittle 16
Oh no i actually didn't read your comment.. I actually skipped them all to be honest. And I know how unpopulair my opninion is for some people, but I studied a lot about this and I know what the positive and (mostly) negative effects are. Rewarding good behavior is much more effective than punishing bad behavior. For example, the mother could introduce a sticker-card. When the daughter doesn't hit her mother an entire day, she gets a sticker on the card. When she has 10 (or more/less) stickers she gets something (activity, toy). When she does play her "game" she loses 1 or 2 stickers. For me this is a positive way to teach her how to behave without hitting her and damaging the relationship between mother and child. If this was in my native language I could explain it a lot better... but I hope it's understandable.
AnimeAddict95 20
Wow what a fun game! OP this is ridiculous, you need to discipline your child ASAP because being constantly hit in your groin cannot be good for you. She's 7, old enough to understand that what she is doing is wrong.
Fou_Lou 20
Its interesting to see how most people that would spank their children were spanked themselves. While i agree that punishment is nessecary violence is not solution just because we did it since thousands of years doesnt make it right or ok. If you spank your children you basically say to than that violence is a Solution. And i think that spanking leads to people that are more likley to either use violence or accept violence against others. But without any meaningful Studies its hard to prove that statement. But theres only anectotical evidence in this comment section anyway.
Opinion_ 9
It is a punishment not "violence is the answer", laws are changing but in some places killing someone means you yourself also get killed, its not violence, its punishment for wrong doing.
Fou_Lou 20
#243 Using violence as punishment is still violence, it doesnt make it any better. Just think of Cutting someones hand of for stealing or cutting the tounge out for Lying and stuff. Sure its punishment but it really seems babaric in todays standards. Same goes for Death penalty.
Opinion_ 9
People who don't believe in the death penalty make it seem like they think the life of a man who kills someone is worth more than the one who died, if you don't want it to happen to you don't do it to someone else. I doubt the person who was murdered wanted to die anymore than the killer does, if a child does wrong, spankings are the punishment that fits most "crimes" in that case. But thats just my opinion, sorry if it seems Im trying to tell you what to think.
xSkittle 16
Everybody should watch Bandura's experiment ;) Couple kids see a video of a man beating a inflatable clown-like thing (Bobo Doll), then the kids are placed in a room with all kinds of toys (also Bobo Doll). So what do they do? They beat the sh*t out of that doll. Kids learn how to behave by imitating the behavior they see
chottu 16
You need to discipline your child, that doesn't necessarily mean physical discipline. Try taking away one privilege at a time starting with something like TV. If she persists then you take away another privilege. Repeat until behaviour ceases.