Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML
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Top comments
carmoniam 0
HAHAHAHA **** ME PUMPS.
ThatDarnCat 0
I don't see how this is a FML. Your mom's ******* cool.
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Comments (100)
warhorse57 0
Whats your mom's number? She sounds pretty hot to trot.
Wombats111 0
First
yourstruly3465 0
Ahh the things you never wanted to know Mom
MrAdventure 1
I'd say it's only a problem if you're a dude...
thelonelylurker 0
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! God damn, no. FYL.
flinkpamingo 0
Again: CHRISTIE BRINKLEY!
plexico 4
Hey, idiot, she's trying to find you a new dad! If the denim mini and the **** me pumps do the trick, she could rope in a guy who has some money, and some of that might find its way to you. Also, they could take care of each other as they grow old. If your mom says single, guess who is going to have to deal with her as she becomes old and decrepit. Oh, and to really make your day: I know from first-hand experience that there is a lot of hot, juicy, dirty, kinky sex left in a 50-year-old woman. She might be doing things you can't even dream of. Cheers!
shinyred 0
Wow my mom has been doing the same thing! Be afraid the too short, too tight, boobs popping out dresses are next. Followed by kinky sex toys in the bedroom! Its not a pretty thing to witness. I feel you pain OP, I really do.
MeMeMe123455 0
Aww, that's kinda cute! I love when cougar moms wear f*** me pumps :) I wish I still had a mother to steal my clothes from me, you're lucky....enjoy it while you have it and be amused by her antics.
heyoudontsaythat 0
virginia!