Health, Embarrassing, DIY and Injury: Pick on someone your own size

Pick on someone your own size

By FluffythePink - 07/10/2023 12:30

Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 149

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 103

You deserved it 5 951

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 798

You deserved it 11 004

Double FML

By Kelly - 26/06/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 121

What the **** was that?

By Hatty - 14/03/2010 10:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 726

You deserved it 23 681

By Clumsy - 08/09/2016 12:06 - United States - Millville

Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled his water bottle. I went to clean up the spill, bashed my face into the weight bar, which broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 142

You deserved it 1 420

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 3 809

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 468

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 769

You deserved it 10 916

By tm - 18/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 839

You deserved it 2 096

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 7 October 2023 15:17

"You should see the other guy. At least I was able to walk away."

Yudith 24

Saturday 7 October 2023 18:12

"I am auditioning for the role of a raccoon. They wanted the face to look hyper-realistic."

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 7 October 2023 15:17

"You should see the other guy. At least I was able to walk away."

Yudith 24

Saturday 7 October 2023 18:12

"I am auditioning for the role of a raccoon. They wanted the face to look hyper-realistic."

Chazzster 28

Saturday 7 October 2023 23:32

My father spent most of his career as an AC and appliance repairman. One thing he taught me is “don’t force it if it won’t go - figure out the real problem then fix it.”… There are relatively few repairs that take a lot of brute force. You unscrew the fasteners to change a toilet seat, not rip it off.

FluffythePink 19

Sunday 8 October 2023 13:50

I was also taught this. Believe me, I heard my father facepalm from the afterlife but it was one of the loo seats that you have to press the buttons and pull up to release from and get at the bolts, which were twisted and sticking and the toilet is so narrow that there's no real way of doing it except from front on and above... I'm actually good with just a bruised nose, 'tired eyes' and battered dignity. I'm on blood thinners so if I'd hit gristle and caused a nose bleed I'd have had to have called an ambulance and then everyone from the paramedics to X-ray and then my GP would also be doing their best not to laugh at me. Being anonymously tutted at by professionals is the least I deserve. 😂