Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
graveworm 0
she's 5 and your how old? how can she make you do anything? get a grip.
PityFool 0
I don't know what to think, here. Either that's love, or that's just demeaning. This could be the first time she learns about loss, if you stop right now.
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Comments (147)
ditzykayla 0
Yeah when I was little I lost my tooth at kindergarten. My grandma told me all I had to do was write a note to explain and the toothfairy would still come...kids these days are so demanding, and ungreatful. My little brother complained because he only got ten dollars from the tooth fairy.....psh I was lucky to get two.
Roaster 0
Grow some balls and learn to say no. I've never heard anything more pathetic.
drseuss419 0
Why not just have her go to bed holding a pillow over her stomach???? The tooth will still technically be under the pillow! If she believes a fairy is going to give her money for a tooth left under a pillow, surely she won't have a problem believing that it still counts if the tooth is in her belly under the pillow.
Violet_Grace 0
A loving father would do anything for his child. Yeah, it's gross, but if it makes his child happy, then he deserves to be father of the year!
WoodyInNY 0
This is why you SAVE her old teeth. The you wait a day or two, pretend to be looking, then one time pull the pocketed tooth out and say "found it!"
dELiA14 0
u know it probably dissolved in the stomach acid? haha ur a moron :)
InspiredByGaGa 8
YDI for lying to your kis.
NightStar 0
Why would you do that? You're being commanded to dig through poo by a 5 year old! I swallowed a loose tooth when I was 4, and my parents told me to write a letter to the tooth fairy. It worked! I found two quarters and a responding note under my pillow in the morning. You could try that next time lol. Then you don't have to dig through anything.
tortise34 4
#45, u need to read cause it says SHE makes me dig 4 my daughters tooth
GiddyXD 0
yucky ho.