Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bathtub about 4 inches high full of piss, and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stains in all the wrong places. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jgmarines 4
Sounds like urine a lot of trouble
Black_Knight80 13
Either run as fast as you can or just play the I don't know what you're talking about card.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
meggieeeee92 27
Blame someone's dog.
laden_swallow09 34
And kill someone's else's dog who has absolutely nothing to do with your own child or your parenting? How would the dog have gotten into your place to begin with, And it just happened to leave before you could stop it? Left by itself, too? You didn't happen to think this all the way through, did you?
melody309 35
I fail to see where she mentioned killing anything.
thomcmoore 23
Why would there be killing? No one mentioned killing. Didn't think that all the way through, did you?
Sassie8810 9
This happened in the hallway. The OP wouldn't have had to let the dog in anywhere.
EmilyJane718 12
Dog piss has a different smell than human piss anyways, dumbass.
Earths_Venus 25
Am I the only one who wants to know the story of what led to your son peeing in the vent?
GraceyBlueEyes 13
Because it's possible to supervise kids every second of the day.
JanisEvans 10
Yes, it is possible to keep your spawn from running around outside your apartment unsupervised. So many kids, so few adequate parents.
FlyingPie 17
#24: This happened inside the apartment - The FML says it was in a hallway. Besides, heat vents are normally inside anyway..
ThomasBombadil 31
I had a cousin who did this onto the top of a hot wood burning stove in the basement whenever there were guests over to impress them with how mad his father would get.
captaincarlz 17
It was in the hallway of their building. So yes, outside of their apartment. Read better.
DanielleinDC 33
It was the hallway of the apartment building, so I assume that means outside their apartment and in a communal area. OP should come clean about what his little brat of a son did, offer to help pay the costs of cleaning up the mess, and dock it from what allowance he gives his kid or make him use any birthday/Christmas money to pay the cost.
cryssycakesx3 22
they have hallways inside apartments too.
cryssycakesx3 22
ah. I just reread. I accept the shame of being buried.
bleedingglitter 24
Little boys have the ability to pee anywhere and will try to pee everywhere if they are ever allowed to do it outside of a toilet even once. My brother dropped his pants and peed on someone's porch while trick-or-treating when he was 4 without any warning.
lousypotatoes 20
Don't judge your landlord merely because he made mistakes in the past. People like you are part of the problem with society. The fact that he's working and taking responsibility for his life right now is a credit to his name. In this instance, your charge messed up, inconveniencing a building full of people. Step up and accept responsibility. It is not your landlord who is the problem here, it is your son and your reprehensible attitude towards the situation.
thatsabiggun 11
It may not necessarily be because of his past, and just because she's scared doesn't mean she's what's wrong with society... It could very well be that she's small and his height is intimidating. She has every right to be scared, and I don't think she's trying to stereotype him because of it.
threer 30
"She" is a he.. Don't try to stereotype females, now. Simply because he had a child and was afraid of a large man? It may just be a simple mistake, but people guessing genders here can really say something.
Moon_Dreamer22 12
i agree with #42 on this, its normal to feel intimidated by someone who is taller than you are
sadistmonkey 19
threer - Your point about people guessing genders isn't as profound as you might think. As speakers of English, we're forced to guess the gender of the person due to the lack of gender neutral personal pronouns. It does say the person's gender up top, but we've all made careless mistakes in speaking. This is nothing more than a careless mistake.
threer 30
"They" "OP" "the writer of this post" I believe there are gender-neutral pronouns, 91. I realize that it may just be a mistake, but it does say something about people's perception of gender. Thank you for taking the time to respond in a non-batshit way.
doglover100 28
Just explain what happened.
sugar94_fml 17
All I can say is good luck with trying to explain how that even happened.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Right, your gonna want to pack a bag with clothes, and pack an empty one also. Grab a green luggage tag and get on the subway after knocking 3 times on the attendant's door. Take the second train and cough in morse code. At the airport you will meet a man called Maurice. He will give you new identities in Mexico. Throw them away and go to Barbados, using the disguise kit provided (fake moustaches) to avoid detection. That way you don't have to give the landlord answers.
False_Stupidity 41
I like the way you think! Completely foolproof, no one could possibly find the OP after that.
DubstepMasta 18
I think you forgot the "accidentally" crash the plane into the mountains and build a cabin there part. after that, chuck Norris approves
cryssycakesx3 22
how do you pack an empty suitcase?
dutchy86 20
put on you're orange overall "dead man walking". good luck OP, but it is your kid, so clean this shit/pee up
JanisEvans 10
What was that little **** doing in the hallway of your apartment building unsupervised? I want answers.
michaelO26 15
Lately the FML got a little "un-FML-ish". But this. THIS.
FlyingPie 17
What about this? And how about that?
briang959 47
Pour something worse down the heating vent and explain that the urine smell wasn't so bad after all.