By biwhat - 08/03/2014 09:23 - Australia - Bassendean
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He's an insensitive jerk. Sorry to hear about this, OP. He should have been more open-minded and realized what's attractive to you. Just because you like both genders doesn't mean you'll do anything like cheat.
Maybe we should be more open minded towards how he feels as well. He found out that his girlfriend enjoys both genders, which would mean that she could *possibly* enjoy everyone she sees. It's no longer a one sided fight. He would have had to be better than other guys AND other girls. He didn't use the greatest words, but you can't just assume that he's the shittiest person ever because he didn't agree with it. It's her choice to fuck both genders, and it's his choice to choose if he accepts that.
It doesn't make him a bad person for being uncomfortable with the situation. It goes both ways, I am a supporter of gay rights, everyone deserves to be happy, but if I found out my boyfriend was bi-sexual I wouldn't be comfortable with it. It's just a personal preference and it's my right to feel that way. No one should have to put up with something they aren't comfortable with. OP's boyfriend just wasn't the right person for her, there are plenty of people out there that don't mind. It's always best to disclose that kind of information before things get serious, you can save a lot of heartache and wasted time that way.
@54- Stop with that "it's not a choice" bullshit. Of course it's a fucking choice. Everything you do is a choice. You make it sound like gay people have a mental disorder with "it's not a choice". Being gay because you want to be gay sounds much better than "it's not a choice". At least you can take credit for it when you admit that it is, instead of making it sound like you were diagnosed with down syndrome.
That's a completely ignorant comment. Both my husband and I are bisexual, but we both believe in monogamy for our relationship and have set clear boundaries that it will only ever be just the two of us together. With the exception that Jennifer Lawrence takes a liking to us- but we have a better chance of living on Mars than that. Bisexuality doesn't mean you're automatically attracted to everyone and open to more than a monogamous relationship.
It is homophobic. Not in a "I hate gays" way. But in a misogynistic way. He is hoping she's bi so he can live out a fantasy. So he can invite another girl and have a threesome. That's ignorant, misogynistic, and yes, homophobic. He is dismissing her as a person by using the bullshit "bisexuals want threesomes" stereotype.
OP might not have fully realized that she is bisexual when she started dating. It can be harder for someone to realize that they are bisexual because of the general preassure from society, and often family and friends, to be straight, and since you do like the opposite sex it can be easy to think that you are straight and supress any feelings of atteaction toward anyone of the same sex. At the same time some homosexuals are not very nice and accepting of bsexuals either as I have heard it being said that there is no such thing as being bisexual, that it is just a step before coming out of the closet and admitting you are gay, which it is not. So there's a lot of preasure to chose one or the other and try to ignore the rest. That was a really long winded way of saying OP might not have realized she is bisexual when they started dating, and have just come to terms with it herself. But I do agree that if she came to terms with the fact before she started dating her boyfriend then she should have been open about it before the relationship got serious. Sorry for the long rant.
If they're attracted to each other it shouldn't matter, unless one person either believes all the ridiculous myths about bisexual people, or is a bigot. Sadly both heterosexual and LGBT communities seem to have something extra against bisexuals, it's stupid. I think it's safe to say you're better off without him OP.
Or she just felt comfortable enough to tell him at this point in their relationship. No need to jump to conclusion that she's full of guilt. Why should she keep it to herself? Maybe she just wanted to share something personal about herself with her partner. She was in no way obligated to tell him at the beginning of their relationship whether she knew she was bi previously or not.
Sounds like a poor coverup for not being comfortable with you. What a jerk. You'll find someone who is loving and accepting!
So what if he's uncomfortable with that?? It's his right to choose who he dates, and if he gets uncomfortable around her because of that, he can break up with her. It's not like because they're in a relationship he now has to date her all the time and accept all the things about her. He also has a right to break up with her whenever he chooses for whatever reason, so don't call him a jerk because he doesn't want to date her.
Why are you getting so defensive? We don't know the whole situation, but if that was indeed the reason he broke up with her, it makes him a jerk because of the way he went about doing it. I think it's better to openly discuss problems with your partner than make up stupid excuses. Calm down bro.
While I do agree that was unnecessary, that's not something you should have kept from him.