By single and hatless - United States - Wilmington Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML I agree, your life sucks 23302 You deserved it 2228 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ihaveaheadache - United States Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML I agree, your life sucks 26869 You deserved it 2152 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML I agree, your life sucks 11825 You deserved it 37672 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Single Again Cunning Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML I agree, your life sucks 2161 You deserved it 120 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilovecowboys - New Zealand Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML I agree, your life sucks 26786 You deserved it 7003 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 57601 You deserved it 3629 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IsThisRealLife - United Kingdom Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML I agree, your life sucks 22823 You deserved it 5760 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sushichick - 15/4/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose Two-stroke Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2299 You deserved it 212 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zuper_duper - United States Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML I agree, your life sucks 29069 You deserved it 52660 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Taylor - United States - Dubuque Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 56196 You deserved it 8151 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Simi Valley Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML I agree, your life sucks 43245 You deserved it 3014 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minnie - 14/2/2021 06:01 - United States - Denver Unreasonable Today, my boyfriend left me because he found out I cheated on my first boyfriend when I was 12. That was back before I knew what "cheating" was and I thought it was okay to love more than one person. FML I agree, your life sucks 1104 You deserved it 214 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ithaca Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML I agree, your life sucks 37650 You deserved it 5231 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Guy - Romania - Bucharest Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML I agree, your life sucks 30547 You deserved it 2047 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By serendipity1027 - France Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML I agree, your life sucks 34717 You deserved it 8853 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trying2breathe - United States Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML I agree, your life sucks 39233 You deserved it 2828 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Une Fille - Canada Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 18200 You deserved it 44106 326 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lolaa123 - United States Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 31114 You deserved it 3845 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seriously! - Australia - Sydney Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML I agree, your life sucks 37190 You deserved it 3274 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML I agree, your life sucks 34334 You deserved it 2991 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Maple Ridge Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 32000 You deserved it 3155 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - United States Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML I agree, your life sucks 26772 You deserved it 39562 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 4yrldkicker - United States Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 57639 You deserved it 23442 299 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Prairie City You Sexty Thing Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML I agree, your life sucks 56993 You deserved it 6550 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By magicmaster19 Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1662 You deserved it 220 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 129805 You deserved it 5428 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eww - Austria - Vienna Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML I agree, your life sucks 30767 You deserved it 2580 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dempasi - United States - Utica Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 14537 You deserved it 2493 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maddie94 - Australia Stained Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 12352 You deserved it 54431 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By terrible kenny - United States Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML I agree, your life sucks 11129 You deserved it 60507 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 43000 You deserved it 3209 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Leyla - Canada - Brampton Get ready to rumble! Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML I agree, your life sucks 18277 You deserved it 34222 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AFSDALK:AFSDQWE - United States - Hillsboro Germaphobe Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML I agree, your life sucks 40981 You deserved it 3773 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hayward Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML I agree, your life sucks 30507 You deserved it 3146 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By christacat - United States - Delaware Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML I agree, your life sucks 11955 You deserved it 921 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justhatelife - United States - Brooklyn Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back, where I work, and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML I agree, your life sucks 9222 You deserved it 1284 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By son - Israel Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 27141 You deserved it 4256 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML I agree, your life sucks 13089 You deserved it 36133 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Innocent - New Zealand Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML I agree, your life sucks 21192 You deserved it 1204 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scratchpost - United States Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML I agree, your life sucks 32843 You deserved it 4596 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Clunker - United States Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML I agree, your life sucks 33830 You deserved it 3949 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By extrasnipes | 22 #6472851 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:47 Well it is a rather serious matter Send a private message 164 5 Reply
By Miss_Chevious | 37 #6472863 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:51 Either his beanie was a gift from his fairy god mother or he just needed a reason to dump you. FYL Send a private message 141 1 Reply
By extrasnipes | 22 #6472851 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:47 Well it is a rather serious matter Send a private message 164 5 Reply
Reply LilMissCanadian | 22 #6473046 - Sunday 29 November 2015 5:35 Everyone knows beanies are sacred. Come on OP don't ya know Send a private message 8 1 Reply
By 2C0OL4SCH0OL | 17 #6472855 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:49 I guess he should date his beanie hat then if he throws away a 2 year relationship that easily lol Send a private message 10 28 Reply
Reply Tripartita | 44 #6472886 - Sunday 29 November 2015 1:03 My thought exactly; it's the only logical alternative. I mean, technically, she could only date the beanie on a Thursday which her back facing the moon, but you get the idea. Send a private message 5 23 Reply
Reply Tripartita | 44 #6472892 - Sunday 29 November 2015 1:09 *with Send a private message 2 19 Reply
Reply kaotic_angel88 | 24 #6472893 - Sunday 29 November 2015 1:11 12, no we don't. Send a private message 34 2 Reply
Reply TH_Insomniak | 15 #6472998 - Sunday 29 November 2015 4:40 I do so maybe not force your own ignorance on every one else. Send a private message 5 13 Reply
Reply Reider022 | 16 #6473019 - Sunday 29 November 2015 5:01 28 stFu Send a private message 3 12 Reply
Reply mds9986 | 24 #6473373 - Sunday 29 November 2015 16:58 Enlighten us, 28. Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By sa5v | 21 #6472857 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:50 He sounds really immature op. Send a private message 24 4 Reply
Reply Lalala579121 | 27 #6472925 - Sunday 29 November 2015 2:02 That's the point. Send a private message 10 0 Reply
Reply R2Y2 | 22 #6473008 - Sunday 29 November 2015 4:46 Relationship sounded like it was over already, usually it's just a case of looking for an excuse, a way out. Thats really bad though, sorry OP. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
By COURT_KING | 14 #6472858 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:50 Well, did you? Send a private message 17 18 Reply
By Mathalamus | 24 #6472859 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:51 Must have been one hell of a beanie hat. Send a private message 32 1 Reply
By thatguy240 | 27 #6472860 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:51 Maybe he wanted to end the relationship and didn't know how. Send a private message 42 2 Reply
By PaigeCutright | 16 #6472862 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:51 And queue the boyfriend finding his hat under his bed in a few days then feeling like an asshole. Send a private message 35 3 Reply
Reply Epikatz | 22 #6473015 - Sunday 29 November 2015 4:55 Doubt he'll feel like an asshole. The relationship obviously was not that important to him. And he'll have his hat back. Send a private message 19 0 Reply
Reply shoower_fml | 9 #6473209 - Sunday 29 November 2015 11:08 If he did, don't think he would say sorry, EGO, Is one hell of a drug. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By Miss_Chevious | 37 #6472863 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:51 Either his beanie was a gift from his fairy god mother or he just needed a reason to dump you. FYL Send a private message 141 1 Reply
By Irum_M | 8 #6472872 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:55 He must really love that beanie if he's thrown away 2 years of being in a relationship. Send a private message 8 2 Reply
By LadyKayDee | 23 #6472880 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:58 Well that escalated quickly! Send a private message 0 7 Reply
Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me while I was waiting in an ICU waiting room while he was getting brain surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 4 2 Comments
Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked... I agree, your life sucks 274 You deserved it 48 5 Comments