Kids: Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs"...

By Ann - 31/05/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 174

You deserved it 4 900

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Same thing different taste

By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 317

You deserved it 3 263

Cruel winter

By Not funny! - 22/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my uncle stole my cousin's phone to take a picture of me. He then sent said picture to my cousin's boyfriend, saying that she'd been cheating on him with me for over a year. He's been cheated on before and is hysterical. My uncle then had the nerve to act all defensive when my cousin and I exploded at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 70

Jealousy

By jake - 10/01/2021 18:02 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 237

By jakeson12 - 24/11/2012 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 923

You deserved it 3 531

By amber - 13/03/2010 09:03 - United States

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 17 734

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 105

By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 782

You deserved it 8 506

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 302

You deserved it 36 619

No introductions needed

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 100

Don't you know that you're toxic?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2020 23:02

Today, I found out my girlfriend talks to around 18 other men for fun. She says she loves me more, but I told her to prove it, so I took her phone and deleted the social media accounts that she made just for these men. Now I'm a "toxic controlling monster" because I don't let her chat with random men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 804

faithe92 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:20

start em off early

Keyman1212 14

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:20

I don't look like a pig

Comments

Egnar 19

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:24

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randy1331 1

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:26

Cool story bro

BAMF519 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:34

true,true

NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

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NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

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Leatherandlace 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:05

My god, stop saying that! We heard!

doc_j 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:09

^^^FAIL

iliketurdles 7

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:14

C-c-c-combo breaker!

atomicbaboon 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 4:37

how'd you hear that? does your computer talk to you?? I want one that does that!!!

NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

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NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

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NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

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Nagi 21

Sunday 21 June 2015 2:54

It's never ok to cockblock. No one deserves that kind of treatment ;-;

NightMarePuppy 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

When she's older all you gotta do is cockblock

Senseisparky 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

Lock your phone, stupid!

Haleyz_a_BOSS 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:40

Maybe OP doesn't have a phone with the option to lock it. I JUST got a phone I can lock.

CyNommy 4

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:33

or it could be a stupid phone which has only a one button or two button lock, no option to make your own lock code.

tnlander 20

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:25

sounds like someone hates the pigs but loves the beaver.

1123nic 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:27

guys might be pigs, but at least we dont delete people's contacts.

eminemchick 19

Wednesday 1 June 2011 3:37

i knew rebecca black was a guy

hubla 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 6:51

I knew Spongebob did drugs

Keywords

Love Music Cute Work Gross Coworkers TMI Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Gamers Technology Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 62 713

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 169

The Top

Today, at school, some kid I’ve never liked came up to me and said, to my face, "I’m really happy to hear about your mom." She died two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 65

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 820

You deserved it 2 662

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 2 948

Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 199

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 029

You deserved it 3 735

Today, I received my new laptop in the mail and put it on the kitchen counter, where my family charges all our electronics. My mom then decided to make soup and spilt chicken broth all over my new laptop before I even got the chance to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 057

You deserved it 1 042

Same thing different taste

Cruel winter

Jealousy

They hated her because she spoke the truth

No introductions needed

Don't you know that you're toxic?

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