Intimacy, Sex, Marriage, Relatable and Awkward: No fun - FML

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 511

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Same thing different taste

Just tradwife things

By Fapmaster - 07/01/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 752

Fishy

By Cheated - 05/09/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 312

Not into it, sorry

By Foreverjerkingit - 11/09/2022 20:00

Spicy

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 362

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 151

Rejection erection

By paidback - 25/12/2009 01:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 661

You deserved it 83 293

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 227

You deserved it 304

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 105

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 129

Don't you want me, baby?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 293

Definitely maybe

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 834

You deserved it 175

Next

Top comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

Chazzster 28

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

Comments

cuz803 44

Friday 14 October 2022 2:06

Pathetic...that's all folks...

Chazzster 28

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

ChrisCFS 12

Friday 14 October 2022 2:53

just cheat then

Charlie Given 26

Friday 14 October 2022 3:00

Your being played she's either a con artist or a dude or just using you time to get an annulment now!!

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

maruespanol 16

Friday 14 October 2022 3:38

maybe she is just a guy🤣

neonpachyderm 13

Friday 14 October 2022 4:21

One word: annulment.

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 14 October 2022 4:27

there's a big something she has not told you. annulment on grounds of false pretenses. don't waste any more time on her.

SamanthaThe1st 22

Friday 14 October 2022 4:32

How often are you asking?

Deacon123 3

Friday 14 October 2022 5:13

Yea. Being conned or played with.. Analment

bidet 8

Saturday 15 October 2022 4:20

"analment" - your Freudian slip is showing

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The Top

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 097

Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 923

The Top

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 270

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 286

You deserved it 10 789

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 665

You deserved it 16 917

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 377

You deserved it 31 585

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 2 299

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 103

You deserved it 9 384