Intimacy, Sex, Marriage, Relatable and Awkward: No fun - FML

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 525

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Same thing different taste

Just tradwife things

By Fapmaster - 07/01/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 768

Fishy

By Cheated - 05/09/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 340

Not into it, sorry

By Foreverjerkingit - 11/09/2022 20:00

Spicy

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 371

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 159

Rejection erection

By paidback - 25/12/2009 01:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 83 349

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 321

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 120

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 133

Don't you want me, baby?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 314

Definitely maybe

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 874

You deserved it 186

Next

Top comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

Chazzster 28

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

Comments

cuz803 44

Friday 14 October 2022 2:06

Pathetic...that's all folks...

Chazzster 28

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

ChrisCFS 12

Friday 14 October 2022 2:53

just cheat then

Charlie Given 26

Friday 14 October 2022 3:00

Your being played she's either a con artist or a dude or just using you time to get an annulment now!!

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

maruespanol 16

Friday 14 October 2022 3:38

maybe she is just a guy🤣

neonpachyderm 13

Friday 14 October 2022 4:21

One word: annulment.

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 14 October 2022 4:27

there's a big something she has not told you. annulment on grounds of false pretenses. don't waste any more time on her.

SamanthaThe1st 22

Friday 14 October 2022 4:32

How often are you asking?

Deacon123 3

Friday 14 October 2022 5:13

Yea. Being conned or played with.. Analment

bidet 8

Saturday 15 October 2022 4:20

"analment" - your Freudian slip is showing

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 272

The Top

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 483

You deserved it 59 780

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 2 912

Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 454

You deserved it 360

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 625

You deserved it 11 808

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 276

You deserved it 7 852

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349